


Too Loud

by starlighttrash



Series: Noises [2]
Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Anxiety, Chan will eventually show up, DK is pretty much there for comedy relief, Drama, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Happy Ending, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Jihoon and Soonyoung are relationship goals, Jihoon is always grumpy, M/M, Panic Attacks, Romance, The Story Is Not As Depressing As The Tags Trust Me, implied depression, mentions of past selfharm
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-20
Updated: 2018-02-06
Packaged: 2018-07-13 22:46:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 23,257
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7140869
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starlighttrash/pseuds/starlighttrash
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jeon Wonwoo is kinda sure he’s ready for a change in his black and white life, but when the new senior meets a boy named Kim Mingyu, his entire world begins to bloom into intricate colors without warning. Wonwoo realises he’s definitely ready for a change, maybe it won't be as hard with Mingyu by his side.</p>
<p>Apparently balancing a blossoming relationship with the popular kid is trickier than it looks, when coupled with a more than challenging family life, new friends, and a pretty quiet existence.</p>
<p>A high school AU of equal measures fluff and angst featuring obnoxious friends, falling in love, lots of parental problems, and mainly shy Wonwoo.</p>
<p> ☆Read the story in Mingyu's P.O.V in Too Quiet☆</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Starting A New Chapter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter is so short. I'm trying to correspond the stories with each other. Anyways, I hope you guys are as excited about Wonwoo's P.O.V. story as I am! I really enjoy writing in his point of view! Remember all my stories are cross post on Asian Fanfics (AFF) and Wattpad. Also if you haven't already, read the first book "Too Quiet", which is in Mingyu's P.O.V. If you're enjoying the story leave a kudos and if you have any opinion, good or bad, leave a comment so I can improve! Until Then ^-^

Sleep. Sleep is one of my escapes from my grueling reality. But sleep and I aren’t on great terms, so of course I do not get enough of the sweet dark bliss. No, my life is too much of a mess for that. If you could think of all the worst things to happen to a person, it has probably happened to me. I have countless stories to tell and no one to talk to. But in sleep I don't have to talk to anyone. In sleep, my problems are only there if I let them.

I slowly open my eyes and let them adjust to the dim lit room, while reaching for my book that I fell asleep reading last night. Reading is also part of my long list of escapes. When I read my mind can block out practically everything. 

When I bring the book back up to my bed I stop mid way to check the time. My old digital clock reads 5:15 A.M. Hmm, at least I slept for about five hours this time; I usually get less. 

Reaching over my clock to turn the lamp on, I catch a glimpse of my wrist and arm. Staring at the old scars that litter my forearm, I grind my teeth and quickly turn the lamp on and sit back in bed with an annoyed huff. 

It's not like any of them are fresh, in fact I have not even thought of harming myself for about two and a half years now. I guess I just became bored of the thought of 'slicing' myself up. It's not like I ever felt the pain that came with it anyways, I haven't really felt any sort of emotion since I was twelve. To save the whole sob story for another time, I'll make it short. When I was in middle school my mother had gotten in a severe car accident and passed away, leaving me with no one but my dad. We used to be a loving family, with occasional camping trips, movie nights, and bright Christmases. Now our small 'family' of two consist of silence (mostly because I haven't talked to anyone in almost three years), financial struggles, and a father who can't let go of the past. So, I don't harm myself anymore, no. But I have replaced one extreme with another, less threatening, one. I simply don't talk.

●●

Adjusting myself until I'm sat upright, I then open my current read,  _ The Great Gatsby  _ and try to find where I left off _. _ As I am getting to a fairly interesting part, a knock on my tightly shut door startles me.

"Wonwoo. I'm heading to the shop now." Silence, then a sigh. "Look. I'm sorry we had to move on such short notice, but you know I had no choice for work..." It's so quiet, I could probably hear my father breathe if I listen carefully. "Your school schedules are on the dinning table, so please don't forget them." Not like I could possibly miss the huge stack of papers. "I'll see you when I get home tonight okay?"...another sigh. "I love you." Then I hear the soles of my father's shoes click, as he walks to the front door. The sound of the door shutting and being locked, is the signal for me to finally get up.

I do not purposefully avoid my dad, it just kind of happens every now and then. I'm not a very outgoing person to begin with. This is probably one of the reasons why I've never had a single friend. Not that I really care. My nose has always been stuck in a dusty old book, so for me to even attempt to join in a conversation with someone, was near to impossible. 

I first check the time before heading to the kitchen, 7:21. My eyes widen when I realize I am already running late. The train to my new school leaves at 7:55 and I still have to figure out how to get to the station. I only know this 'valuable' information because it's scrawled all over one of the many papers that I now need to carry with me for school.

Quickly, I try to find something that will keep me covered and unnoticeable to the world. I decide on one of my old charcoal sweaters, which is still too large on me, but I like to be comfy. A pair of torn up skinny jeans catches my searching eyes and a dark beanie my mom knitted for me before she passed, has now been thrown onto my messy bed-head. While changing I begin to create a mental checklist.

Money for the train fare, lunch (Already made and packed in the fridge. My dad always makes mine while making his, because he knows I normally don't eat breakfast.), the mountain of papers, satchel, and of course my book.

Before heading to the kitchen, I stop by the bathroom, across my room, to brush my teeth. When I finish I look at myself for a second. I see my own emotionless face stare back at me and decide I look like trash. My hair may be hidden underneath a hat, but I know it's tangled in a mess on top of my head. The dark circles under my eyes can just barely be seen against my pale skin. And I'm pretty sure I have a pimple starting to form on my forehead. Patting my hair down, I try to cover up the forming lump, but eventually I give up. Letting out a sigh I make my way to the kitchen.

I first pull a glass out of the wooden cabinets and fill it with water from the tap. Standing in front of the kitchen window that looks out into the backyard, I notice some of the trees are beginning to lose some leaves and how they’re piling on the ground, in a brown and orange colored mess.

_ Fall must be here _ . I think to myself. 

Placing my glass into the nearly empty sink, I turn around to the fridge and open the cold doors. Searching through the full fridge I finally spot my lunch. My father and I may not have a lot, but there will always be a fridge full of food. Since my dad owns a produce shop, it has never been a problem for us. Of course business used to be much better, but all the sudden less and less customers showed up. So my dad decided to move to a town where he knew our little shop would do great. Hints why we moved.

Moving over to the dinning table, I grab my satchel that is hanging off the back of one of the chairs and sling the bag around one of my shoulders. Next, I grab the stack of papers and shove most of them into the bag and decide to keep out the direction sheet the school had printed out for me. I quickly walk back to my room and pick up my novel from my unmade bed, then swiftly place the book into my satchel. I then head to the front door.

I double check that I have everything I need before deciding to head out. While slipping on some worn out converses I do one last check and realize I forgot the train money. Snatching the money off the table, I then make my way out the house and into the chilled air and turn around to lock the old wooden door.

●●

My name is Jeon Wonwoo. I’m nineteen years old. I’m now the new kid, even though I'm a senior in high school. I've never had a single friend, and I haven't said a word for almost three years. My dad is trying his best with what we have and my mother is no longer with us. Welcome to my life.


	2. Canines and Restrooms

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wonwoo's having a rough morning. Also trigger warning for offensive language.

In the second grade I had a crush on this boy who I noticed one day at recess. The whole situation was nothing special, but for me that kid was my first puppy love. Now, I do not remember much about him, but I do know that he always smiled. It was something in the way the corners of his lips curved, that made me head over heels. I never knew his name, because of how shy and secluded I was from the other kids. So even talking to him was never going to happen.

Second grade was also the school year that I found out I was attracted to boys. Of course being so young I thought liking whoever you wanted was acceptable and normal. Well my simple and naive self was wrong. I quickly learned that being any different was completely unacceptable. But this knowledge came in the fifth grade when I was witnessing some helpless kid being beaten up, because he had confessed to some other guy.

●●●

While walking down the crowded and bustling street I constantly nudged or bumped into people. This probably has to do with me checking the directions every few feet, to make sure I'm not going to miss a turn and to make sure I'm at least heading in the right direction. Or simply keeping track of the time and arriving to said location on time. As I'm trying to get by, a few people begin to crowd in front of me and I come to a complete stop. I let out an aggravated sigh.

 _Now I am seriously going to be late. Maybe if I just squeeze past those two, I could go around the rest._ I think to myself.

As I'm trying to pass though two people, someone pushes me out of the way and I begin to lose my balance. Quickly, I move completely out of the crowd and begin to walk a little faster. I pass a couple more streets and realize that I am now lost. _Great_. I stop in the middle of the sidewalk and search through my satchel for the direction sheet that I placed back into my bag while trying to get through the crowd from before.

While searching for the one stupid sheet of paper, I manage to make a pile of about half of the papers. The pile is tucked tightly under one of my arms. The wind begins to pick up a little bit, making the papers under my arm start to loosen up and a few of them fall on the ground. I bend down to collect the fallen papers.

 _You have got to be kidding m_ -

_OMMF_

My thoughts are abruptly cut short when someone roughly runs into me. I land heavily on my back, hitting the ground with enough force to probably kill me. I also hear the remaining papers, that were once held tight under my arm, fall to the ground.

"Uggghhrr" With my eyes screwed shut, I let out a scratchy and painful groan and slowly sit up while rubbing my stinging back. _What the hell?! This person must be a fucking tree if they_ -

"Oh, I'm so sorry! I was spacing out." Some stupid voice, probably whoever just ran into me, begins to quickly say. "Here, let me help you up." The same annoying voice says.

…

…

…

Wait, now I'm taking this all in. This stranger is actually talking to me. They actually want to 'help' me, if I heard them correctly. My mind is racing.

Slowly and timidly, I begin to lift my head. Starting at his feet, I make my way up, I notice he's in a school uniform. _That's the same uniform they wear at my new school, so I'll probably see this person again. Great._ I think bitterly to myself. Next, I move my eyes to his tanned outstretched hand and stare at it for just a millisecond. _Whoa his hand is huge!_ My thoughts can't handle this. Finally I bring my gaze up to my offenders face and... _holy shit_.

"Are you okay?" I think he asks in a concerned tone, but due to my heart practically beating out of my chest, I just barely hear him.

This stranger has beautiful and light almond shaped eyes, that have this enthusiastic shine to them. His hair is dyed a smokey blue and is just a little messy, but still stylish. His lips are full and shaped into a slight opened mouthed smile. This gives me a view to his overly prominent canines. _Who the hell has teeth like that?!_

My mind becomes blank and I begin to feel my cheeks heat up, even in the chilled weather. Then I begin to think back to all the books I've read before, you know the ones about romance and how love at first sight is realistic. Yeah, I used to think those were complete bull shit, but now; now I believe. Maybe it is because he decided to acknowledge me or maybe it's because he is undeniably and unfairly, breathtaking.

Probably both.

Blinking a couple times, I bring myself back to reality and remember that all my papers are scattered around us in a mess. I quickly begin to gather the sprawled out sheets.

_Holy shit, this is so embarrassing! Wait. Why do I even care? Since when did I care about anything?_

"Huh. This one's really good, I've read it like three times."

_Also, why is my heart practically exploding out of my chest?! Oh my god what if he sees me blushing? Wait, since when did I conclude that I'm blushing? Shut up brain! Just shut the hell up!_

After I snap out of my mental breakdown and figure out which sheet has the station directions on it, I try looking for my book. Glancing up slightly, I notice the stranger has the novel lightly grasped in his hands. Also, when did he get on the ground? Quickly I snatch my book right out of his palms and swiftly stand back up while also placing the book into my satchel.

"Uhh, um. S-Sorry abo-" The stranger begins to speak while clumsily standing up, but I completely ignore him.

Turning around, I practically sprint to the train station. I do my best to try and read the directions and squeeze past the crowd of busy people. Eventually I somehow manage to enter the hectic train station and find my way to the ticket machines. As I'm trying to catch my breath, I pay for the ticket and make my way to the platform. While walking, I notice my throat is completely on fire. Probably from the cold weather, I conclude to myself.

●●●

As I'm waiting for the train to arrive, I decided to look for my class schedule. Moving a few things around in my satchel, I manage to find my Ipod I thought I lost while moving to the new house, some old gum, and a pair of headphones also found their way into my bag.

 _Hmm, I'll probably use these during lunch._ I think, while placing my Ipod and wrapped up headphones into the side pocket of my bag.

Eventually, I find my schedule right as my train arrives. Coming to a quick halt, the sliding doors open to reveal a packed train. I mentally sigh, knowing that I won't be able to find a seat and I grudgingly step on.

I pick a spot in the back across from the exit doors and bring my arm up to hold the support railing. I then grab my book out of my satchel and grip it open with my free hand. As the train begins to move, I jerk forward just enough to drop my book.

_Great…_

The train is so packed, it is physically impossible to reach down and grab my novel. I then place a foot on top of the book, to make sure it doesn't slide away. Letting out a sigh, I decide to just stare at the glass doors in front of me.

After a grueling long time, the next stop finally comes up and enough people get off for me to be able to retrieve my book. For the rest of the ride I read in silence, while occasionally swaying back and forth from the speed of the train. When the train arrives at my location I hastily walk off and head out of the station.

As I'm exiting I notice where I am and see the school just up ahead. _Thank god._ I think wistfully to myself.

When I walk through the gates of the school, I notice there is a resounding number of students and it kind of makes me nervous. My old school was not nearly as crowded and noisy. While making my way through the front doors I notice a group of girls and they look up at me when I pass by. I hear them giggle and I can't begin to imagine why. Maybe it's because I'm new or it is because I look strange.

While I am trying to find the front office I pass by several students in uniform and I notice how out of place I feel. I keep my head down and continue walking. When I round a corner I notice a restroom and decide to hide out, just until I can calm down. My heart rate is picking up rapidly and the last thing I need today is a panic attack.

Upon entering the spacious restroom, I notice three other guys are already occupying the space, doing the morning cleaning. One is tall and he kind of looks like a horse, but nonetheless he's wearing a smile and humming, while mopping a restroom. _Something must be wrong with him._ I think while raising a concerned eyebrow.

Another is noticeably younger, a bit short, and has a pretty bad hair cut. He's bobbing his head and using the broom as a microphone. I assume he's passing time by listening to music, which is playing from his headphones and from here it sounds like Michael Jackson.

The final person is average height and has a smug looking face. The tie for his uniform is missing and one of his pant legs are rolled up to his calf. He does not seem like the happy go lucky person, that the other two kind of look like. In conclusion, this bunch is a weird mix.

While their cleaning, I step into one of the stalls, close the door and toilet lid, and sit down with a sigh of relief. Everything is quiet except for occasional sounds of someone ringing out a mop and a spray of a bottle.

"Hey faggot, didn't you notice I'm cleaning here?!" One of the boys yell from outside my stall and I'm a little surprised that he used that kind of language. Honestly that word hurts, like a lot.

When I came out to my parents I was 11 years old. Apparently they both saw this coming, so my parents were very accepting. In fact, I think telling them brought us closer together as a family. Now the only person who knows about my sexuality is my dad.

Anyways, I've never been called such an offensive word before. So hearing it made my heart begin to race and breathing is now becoming a little harder. I stay silent as usual and I guess that pissed him off, because next thing I know he's kicking the stall. "What, you too good to talk newbie?" He yells, while continuing to beat on the door. I stay completely still and hope he doesn't get in.

The next thing I hear is someone whisper something, but it's kind of hard to hear over the banging on the door. I then hear, who I think is the shortest one say, "what? I had my hea-" I then notice two of the boys leave the restroom in a hurry. _Well what the hell do I do now?!_

I begin to panic.

“Come on fag, open up!" He says while slamming a fist to the stall. I'm seriously freaking out and hyperventilating at this point. My lungs feel like they are closing up and the noise around me is beginning to fade away. The stall around me looks smaller than before and my mind is running way too fast.

"Hey! what's going on in here!?" I just barely make out an old, gruff voice yell. "To my office, now Mr. Huang!" The same voice is now closer and the banging has stopped. My breathing is still rapidly out of control and my hands are now shaking. I close my eyes tight and rock myself back and forth in attempt to calm down.

_Breathe_

_Breathe_

_Breathe_

Somehow, the bathroom door swings open and I hear someone step forward. "Hey, it's okay just breathe in and out slowly. There you go, just like that." An old female voice says. "I'm going to need you to sit up, so you can get more air." She now begins to rub circles into my back, which distracts me enough to calm down a little.

"Take care of him and make sure he's okay. Then send him down to my office." The voice from earlier says in a tired tone. "Thank you nurse Cha." He mumbles while walking out , "It's too early for this." and let's out a sigh.

●●●

While I'm in the medical office, Mrs. Cha, the nurse, let's me stay in one of the beds, just until I've calmed completely down. I lay still in the sterilized bed until the tardy bell rings for first period. She then tells me to go to the front office, so I can talk about what happened. Doesn't she understand that I'm not gonna talk?

As I'm heading down the empty halls, I find it a lot easier to locate where the main office is. Upon arriving I notice the smug looking guy from before, sitting in one of the chairs outside one of the rooms. "Are you here for the restroom incident?" A lady at the front desk lazily asks. I nod my head and she points to the row of seats.

 _God, I feel like this day is just getting better and better._   

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELLO! So I now I said that Too Loud updates would happen a few days after Too Quiet updates but I enjoy writing in Wonwoo's P.O.V. too much sooooo... Anyways I hope you guys enjoyed the update! Let me know what you guys think in the comments. Also i should have the Too Quiet update in the next two to three days, so look forward to it ^-^ Until Next Time!


	3. Clouds Before the Clearing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wonwoo is so done with this new school and DK is being DK.
> 
>  
> 
> (a/n)HI GUYS!!! Hope you enjoyed the update! The next one is going to be pretty nice, so look forward to that. Also leave a comment of telling me your thoughts :D It really helps me write when I know what you guys think <3 As always thank you for reading and until next time enjoy! (^0^)

Panic attacks. First, you feel like you can not breathe and everything suddenly slows down and speeds up at the same time. The overwhelming sensation spreads like flowing water across your _entire_ body, taking over _every_ inch of your existence. Second, you begin to feel tingly and dizzy, your veins have the sensation of ice running through them. And third, all you wanna do is run, escape, or hide. But you _can’t_.

I have never told anyone about my ‘extreme episodes’, no one would care anyways. And it is not like I could explain my panic attacks to them and they’d understand even a _fraction_ of what I go through. It has always been like this though, me keeping everything to myself. Even before my mother passed, I have kept many, many, many things to myself. But I’m becoming tired, not physically, but mentally. I’m tired of keeping everything to myself. I just want someone to talk to, but it can’t just be anybody, this someone has to also want to try and open me up. But this is only a wish of mine and it’s a wish because it’ll probably never happen.

  ●●●  

I have no idea how long I’ve been sitting in this obnoxiously small front office, but at some point, the two boys who were also in the restrooms this morning, walk in and have a seat to my left, of course neither of them sit beside me, but the bean pole looks at me and wiggles his eyebrows while smiling like he just won a million bucks. I scrunch my face up in a mixture of confusion and weirded out-ness. _Fucking creep_. I think cautiously to myself, while slowly turning my head away. Upon their arrival I had learned all their names, even my offender, thanks to the secretary. First, the lanky one who looks like a horse, is named Lee Seokmin, but upon hearing this name he quickly corrected the motionless secretary (Who couldn't care less what this kids name is.), insuring her that he’d rather be called DK. Next, the shorter of the three, who has a terrible haircut, is simply named Lee Chan. And finally, the bully, his name in Huang Joonea.

As I’m leaning my back heavily on the uncomfortable plastic chair, the bell for second period begins to ring and the door across the office opens with a lazy swing. Who I assume to be Mr.Jung, the principal, steps out of the door frame and looks toward my direction. “Come on.” He says in a tired manner, while gesturing his hand inside the now open room. At first I think he’s talking to me but when I hear a scoff and a screeching chair, I turn my head and see my offender, Joonea. I had totally forgotten about him. He’s just been remarkably quiet and that is saying something coming from me.

“This I _so_ stupid, I mean I didn't even do anything…” He says, cocking his head to the side and giving the two boys and I an icy glare. This stare gives me chills that run rapidly down my spine, like rocks tumbling down immense mountain cliffs. The principal then rolls his eyes in annoyance and gestures again towards his office. “Come on, let's not makes this any harder than it has to be.” The bully then scoffs and begins to raise his voice. “Well, this _faggot_ is the one who started it!"

_There’s that word again, the one word that burrows deep down into my pale skin and plants itself heavily within the crevices of my entire being. That word holds too much of a negative meaning, too much coldness, too much venom._

The principals gruff voice immediately cuts in, but I barely even hear him because at that point, my mind and body have their own reaction and my thoughts become clouded and rushed.

“That kind language is not nee-”

While my brain is over analyzing the situation, my long legs begin to move, sluggishly and on their own accord and before I know it I’m standing close to Joonea. Swiftly yet ruggedly, my shaky left hand begins to lift and fall down just as fast, landing heavily across the person in front of me, slapping their face with enough force to cause an instant blooming hand print to appear upon his shocked expression.

The echoing sound of hand to skin brings me crashing down into reality and with a stinging palm and loss of breath, I know I’ve fucked up.

" _Mr. Jeon!_ To my office now! I will _not_ tolerate violence. _Period_!” Mr.Jung then grabs my forearm after I stand there contemplating over how I just did that. As I’m stepping past Joonea he begins to lean in towards to my ear, lips grazing over it dangerously close, and it’s at that very moment, I’ve never felt more _disgusted_ in my life. He then begins to whisper harshly, much to my distaste.

“You’re going to regret that.”

Mr.Jung then drags me the rest of the way into the room and I’m completely at a loss. What does he mean by that? The next thing I know I'm sitting in a cushioned, but still uncomfortable, chair across from the principle, who's looking at me with a mix of disappointment and sympathy.

_Great. More pity. That's the last thing I want from someone._

I move my eyes towards my lap and then stare at my nervous hands. While twirling my fingers around each other, out of habit, the room falls deadly silent and it's honestly starting to become suffocating. A few seconds later I hear a squeak of a chair and he begins to speak.

“I know about your speaking issue and I’m not going to force you into talking, but I’d appreciate it if you could answer my yes and no questions with at least a nod or shake of your head.” I continue to look at my hands as they fold and unfold together and I reply by nodding my head ever so slightly, indicating that I understood. He lets out an exhausted sigh and rubs his temples lightly while beginning to speak. “Mr.Jeon, just go get your uniform from the counselor's office next door, change, and then head straight to second period. Do you have your class schedules with you?” I then tear my eyes away from my hands and connect them with his for the first time and nod slowly. He then continues, “I’ll let you both off this time, but if I hear or see one more thing happening between the both of you, it’s going to be an immediate suspension and I don’t care who starts what. Do I make myself clear?”

Nodding my head once more, Mr. Jung then stands up and walks towards the door, opening it. Timidly, I then begin to rise from my seat, bow slightly, and walk through the office and towards the door leading to the hallway. As I pass by the three boys, I notice Joonea has a smirk on his face while on his phone. Probably planning my death. Then I see Chan, who is asleep in the chair and it looks like his neck is about to snap with the angle he's currently laying in. DK, well, he's just staring and smiling at nothing in particular. _So god damn creepy._ As I'm reaching the door I hear the principal speak up. “DK, get out of my office. I honestly can’t handle you this early in the morning, I’ll talk to you during lunch. Oh, and don’t think I’ve forgotten about the soy sauce, feathers, and golf balls incident, because I haven’t.-” That’s the last thing I hear from the principle as I’m stepping out into the hallway, leaving the front office.

  ●●●  

While making my way just across the hall I notice the name plate hanging on the wall right above the door. It reads “Choi Minho” in silver letters. I then step into the surprisingly spacious counseling room and walk cautiously to the front desk, where an older woman, probably in her late 40s, is reading something out of a manilla folder. I crane my neck just a little to see the name on the front and to my surprise, it's my name.

She probably thinks she knows my whole life story or something now. And just by looking at her, I can tell she's gonna want to know me just a little better than a few sheets in a cream colored folder.

She quickly glances up towards me and jumps a little while slamming the folder shut. “Oh! You scared me sweetie!” Mrs.Choi says hurriedly while laughing nervously. I keep a straight face and look at everywhere else but her. “You must be Jeon Wonwoo!” she then holds her manicured hand out for me to shake, but after a few seconds of awkward silence she clears her throat and slowly brings it back to her side. “Your uniform should be hanging in the changing room right over there. The sizes should be correct, since you had them ordered ahead of time.” I then bow my head ever so slightly and look to the side of me where a door leading to what I assume is the changing room. As I enter the cramped room I immediately notice the body length mirror that hangs on the wall and a cushioned chair, similar to the one in Mr.Jung's office, sits in the corner of the tiny room.

As I’m changing out of my clothes I begin to think about what Joonea was saying from before. _“You’re going to regret that.”_ Just the thought of what he’s probably going to do to me is enough to make me not want to show my face around here. Because by the looks of how he acted in the restrooms this morning, by banging and bashing on the stall, just because I didn’t reply to him, of course I’m terrified and every second that goes by I regret the slap even more and more.

I let out a shaky breath and began to slip on the skinny black uniformed trousers, I then turn slightly to see how they look and I have to admit, I still look ridiculous. While letting out a sigh I slide the white button up on, then the tie. Lastly I yank on the blazer, pat out the nonexistent wrinkles, and pull down on the cuffs just a little. While sitting on the chair, I quickly put my shoes back on and lace them up. I then take one last glance in the mirror and come to a conclusion that I don’t look _as_ bad, but my hair is still a complete mess.

While stepping out of the changing room, Mrs.Choi does a double take, but I’m hardly paying attention, at this point I just want to get to class. She then lets out a little chuckle and begins to speak. “Wow, you sure look spiffy Wonwoo.” She begins nonchalantly, then continues. “So I’ve thought about it and I want you to come in and talk to me during your physical education class, which is after lunch for you correct?” I nod my head slowly meaning yes. “Well not _talk_ to me per say, but give me yes and no answers, get to know you a little better, and just try to understand your situation a bit more. I want to have these types of sessions twice a week, preferably on Mondays and Thursdays, if that’s okay with you?” I look towards my feet and think for a second before giving her my answer. On one hand I get to pretty much skip gym, but in the other, I have to ‘open up’ to this middle aged lady.

I know earlier I was thinking about how I wanted to be more open and expressive with someone, but I feel like she is not the right person to do that with, to let everything out for the first time, be honest and real. I get that she’s only trying to do her job, but I’m just not comfortable, not with her.

With all the thinking, I’ve come to the conclusion that I’ll go, but only to be there. This does not mean I’m going to let her ‘get to know me’, this is only me humoring her and maybe also getting out of gym class.

I slowly bring my head up and look towards her, awaiting my answer. Nodding a couple times she then stands up and brings her hand out for me to shake again. I look down at the aging hand and then back to her, I decide to just bow, before turning around and opening the door to head to my second period.

“I’ll see you after lunch!” she calls out enthusiastically. I keep my head straight forward as I continue down the hallway, ignoring her parting words.

  ●●●  

I finally approach my calculus class after getting lost a couple of times, but I managed to find my way to the correct room, B48 Mrs.Lee. I stretch my hand out and grasp onto the chilled handle, then letting out a shaky breath, I move the handle and push the door open. Stepping a little further into the room I lift my head up to take in my surroundings, a couple people are whispering, and some are paying attention to the front of the room, but my gaze only makes it so far before it catches the boy in the front of the class currently explaining a pretty difficult math problem.

"Okay, so first we distinguish between three cases…” He carefully explains.

The grayish blue tousled hair is unmistakable, it's the boy I ran into this morning or more like, _he ran into me._

"Oh nice of you to show, once Mr. Kim explains the answer I'll find you a seat." Mrs.Lee addresses towards me, but I’m hardly paying attention.

As he continues teaching, I feel like I'm in a trance, with my eyes never leaving the back of his head. Time suddenly feels like it’s going in slow motion as he turns around to face the class, but his gaze stops as it lands on me.

"T-then, um, s-step two, you..." He stutters out but his voice slowly fades away to nothing and eventually he completely stops talking.

I stay frozen in place, too scared to move, too afraid he will disappear if I blink. Becoming a little shy under his intense stare, I begin to scratch my nape out of habit. _He’s just as beautiful from when I first saw him this morning._ Is the only thought that is currently running through my chaotic head.

_RING RING RING_

He’s the first to break eye contact by turning around and with him setting me free from my frozen state, I make a beeline towards the door and into the already crowding hallway. I then pull out my crumpled schedule from my satchel and straighten out the wrinkled paper. Reading down the list of names and courses, I search for my next class.

Anatomy Room: C12 Min Kyun  


	4. Adjustments

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Harsh words and teasing.
> 
> Wonwoo meets Mingyu.
> 
> A/N Hi guys it's been a while!!! anyways I was supposed to post this like a month ago but my laptop broke and I had no way of getting to my docs! But I guess this can count as a halloween gift? No? Okay... Anyways don't forget to comment, leaving me feedback really helps me write :D

 Anatomy Room: C12 Min Kyun

 _Hmm, ‘C’ classrooms are on the second floor right? Or were they in the left wing of the first floor? No. Definitely the third floor..._ This school is _too_ damn big.

My dad's words from a few nights ago ring in my head like a mantra, ‘ _it's just something we need to do’,_ and the conversation from that night begins to conjure up in my memories.

●●●

_“Wonwoo, can you come to the living room, I’d like to talk to you about something.”_

_I can hear my father's solemn voice from somewhere downstairs as I’m in my room reading. It’s a Monday night and I’ve just laid down in bed. I look down at my book again, remembering what page I’m on and with my hair still wet, from my recent shower, I place my novel on my bedside table and make my way down the staircase._

_Keeping my eyes trained straight forward, I purposely avoid looking at the many framed photos hanging on the cream colored walls. The dusty pictures capture a smiling family of three that once was. The photographs represent a happiness that can never be filled again, forever leaving a burning scar nailed to the aging walls of a now quiet household._

_Once my feet hit the soft carpet that covers the cozy living room I notice my father sitting on one of the sofas; I opt to sit in the matching chair adjacent from him. With silence taking over, I stare at my father, waiting for what needs to be said, but seconds pass and he's still avoiding my gaze._

_The clock above the mantel makes its presence known with the constant ticking and I'm only becoming slightly annoyed. Just slightly._

_He finally lets out a tired sigh, “The shop’s not doing too well… you know that.” I nod my head meaning ‘yes’. “But, um, I was looking in the paper a couple weeks ago and saw an ad for a building up for sell in a popular market area.”_

_Okay, so dad wants to move shops. Why is he making such a big deal about this?_

_“... In Busan. We’re moving on Wednesday to Busan.”_

_Oh._

_My eyes grow wide in surprise while my eyebrows show forms of confusion. I can’t just move almost three hours away! I've always lived in this house, here in Daejeon, so why the_ _hell_ _are we moving so far?! I’ve never even_ _been_ _outside of Daejeon! My mind is racing like crazy._

_Dad notices my worried expression (which is rare of me nowadays) and frantically tries to explain._

_“Wonwoo, I know this is on such a short notice and also a pretty big change for you, and even for_ _me_ _, but It’s just something we need to do. Plus there’s a nice school there and I’ve already looked at the house we'll be moving into. It’s… not as big as this one, but there’s a library right down the road and the trek to school is about fifteen minutes, that's half the time of what you take to get to your_ _current_ _school… This is something we’ll just have to get used to, okay?”_

_His explanation of us ‘needing’ and ‘have to's’ doesn't really calm me down… in fact I think it made me worse. A new school, house, and city? Is he crazy?!_

_“Wonwoo?”_

_I need a least a few moments to capture this; to just find a grip in this sudden news._

_The silence is suffocating as I stare numbly at the ground for a minute to take in all the information and to calm myself down a bit. In conclusion, it’s not like I have a choice with the whole move. Plus my dad’s the one who earns the money, to provide for us, so I really don’t have a say in what we do. With my mind still racing I nod my head while standing, then decide that the conversation is over, and head straight up to my bedroom._

_Hours pass before I hear sounds of muffled footsteps approaching my room. The sound stops and is replaced by my father's tired tone._

_“You won’t be going to school tomorrow, we’ll be packing. As for wednesday, we’ll drive up there, drop off some things at the house, and while we wait for the movers we’ll enroll you into your new school. You should try and get some rest for tonight, okay?”_

_I look up at my dad who's standing in the doorway of my open room. His face has a pleading mold on it, a mold I haven't seen since I was fourteen, on a certain gloomy day. The reality of the depths he was meaning, with that ‘okay?’ hits me with full force and let's me understand the realness of the situation. Moving my head up and down tiredly, he then smiles at me softly while letting a sigh of relief out._

_“Thank you. Good night son.” And with that he closes the door and the sounds of his slippers on the hardwood can be heard until he reaches his own room._

●●●

With a map to the school clenched in one hand and my schedule in the other, I let out a sigh and begin to aimlessly walk down the wide hall. I also notice how _not_ out of place I feel. No one seems to care or even spare a glance towards me. The uniform definitely helps with the whole ‘blending in’ thing. Knowing that I’m almost just _as_ invisible as I was in my previous school gives me a sense of comfort.

My feet come to a stop when I spot one of the stairwells to my left and look at the sign that reads, Rooms ‘C-D second floor’.

_Thank god!_

I then let out a sigh of relief and continue up the crowded steps.

●●●

In my previous school my presence was practically nonexistent. Teachers never called on me, talked to me, let alone acknowledged me. This was a curse and a blessing for a few reasons; one being that I was never forced to talk, but the other reason is the effect that comes with being ignored, they always left me to spiral down with my dark thoughts alone.

Most students treated me as if I was a plague; always avoiding me and keeping a shocking distance. Also there were a couple of rumors that had been spread, some harmless and others were just outrageous. The harmless stories mainly consisted of ‘ _He's mute, just ignore him’_ or ‘ _Yeah poor thing can't hear or talk anymore’_ oh and my favorite _‘They say if you get him to talk he'll grant you wishes’ ._ Of course these rumors only stuck around in my last year of middle school, but high school is a whole different story.

When you grow a little older you learn new and interesting things, everyone knows that. Things like how you can read people better; sense how they feel just by watching their reactions on things you've said or done. With these new senses people can now take harmless situations and twist them into harmful, severe, and more personal ones.

Entering into high school means new people and new people mean new rumors and stories, well in my case it does. The rumors started about me consisted of, “ _You know he killed his mom right? That’s why he’s so quiet_ ” and “ _They say he never talks because he sucks so much dick_ ”. Yeah these hurt the most…

But I guess that night when my dad told me about the move, there was one good thing that came out of it, well maybe two. One being I’ll never have to hear those rumors again and the second being, new city, new strangers. So in short, no one really knows anything about me, if I really do speak, how I have no mother, and that I’m gay.

●●●

As I step into the brightly lit classroom, which is surprisingly quite empty, I notice there’s about seven to eight students, give or take, at the station tables scattered around the room.

_That’s strange._

I check the class room number above the door and my schedule one more time for clarification. Yep, this is the right room. _Maybe I’m just early._ Timidly, I tap the shoulder of who I assume is the teacher, while holding out a piece of paper. The paper was given to me while I was in the nurse's office this morning, explaining my condition and what not. The elderly man turns around, gray bushy eyebrows raised high, lifting his head as he stares up at me.

“Oh my, aren't you a tall one!” His gruff voice fills the room with life, despite his short stature.

I bring my paper up a little bit higher, as if to bring his attention to the white sheet. Taking the voucher out of my hand, he brings it closer to his aging face. “Hmm?... Ah, Jeon Wonwoo. I heard you’d be joining my class. I’m Mr. Min.” He bows his head in a respectful nature and I return it with just as much appreciation. He then turns around and searches through some papers on his desk, then continues “Since this is not really a required course there’s only a few students, eight to be exact and that’s not including you, so don’t worry about your situation, you’ll be fine.”

_Oh, that explains the lack of students._

Keeping a straight face, I wait for instructions on where I’ll be seated. Or any type of instructions really.

“Oh sorry, we have class in groups of threes on Tuesdays and Thursdays, so you can join Sungcheol and Jeonghan. They’re the only group without a third person.” He points to the middle station, where two boys, who look uninterested in anything around them, are sat together diligently. “Don’t worry, those two never talk to each other anyways, so you'll fit right into the little trio~” Mr. Min says in a cheery tone, while walking out of the classroom with a stack of worksheets. “I have to go and make copies, I’ll be back.”

_This teacher is so weird…_

Keeping my head low, I timidly make my way to my assigned group. The only stool available is the middle one, so I silently place my satchel on the counter top and sit. About three minutes pass and neither of them has said single a word.

_I guess coo coo teacher was right…_

To my left, Sungcheol, (I read the top of one of his many sprawled out worksheets) who’s the more masculine of the two, has been lazily texting on his phone, letting out a few lifeless chuckles here and there. And the one to my right, who I assume can only be Jeonghan, has’t moved an inch from his bored stare towards nothing in particular.

_Maybe this group_ _will_ _work._

The other two groups though, they’re either studying quietly or are also on their phones as well.

As I’m occupied while reading my current book, a couple more minutes pass, and I feel a sudden tap on my shoulder, when I turn to the source I see Sungcheol looking back on his phone typing rapidly. Without bringing his head up he begins to explain. “Mr. Min won’t be back for the rest of class, just so you know. So all of us just do whatever. When we get into these _groups_ , the geezer always skips class. But if there's like a project due, we work on it together, since this is like a permanent group that we use for all class projects.”

I bring my head back to the direction of my book and fold the top corner while closing it. Letting my eyes wander around the simple classroom, I begin to ponder.

_Hmm...Maybe I can just get some sleep for the rest of the class period._

I lightly bring my head down onto one of my hands and just barely close my eyes, all while attempting to tune everyone and everything out. I haven't been able to sleep much lately, with the whole moving cities and changing schools; it’s really been stressing me out- more then usual.

“So, what’s your name?” Sungcheol’s voice takes me by surprise, as I'm dozing off. But his tone is calm and sounds genuinely interested, even though both eyes have yet to leave his phone.

While keeping my head resting in my hand and eyes continuing to stay lightly closed, I remain silent and avoid the question. Though I am taken aback at his curiosity to know just that little bit of information about me; not many strangers do, unless they have to. Unfortunately, this guy seems like one of those ‘ _I’m popular and I know it_ ’ type of guys and I’d rather not get involved; not that I would, with any other type of person, anyways.

A few seconds pass and he lets out an awkward ‘ _Okay..’_ and continues. “I’m Cho-”

“ _Choi Sungcheol_. Captain of the soccer team, heartbreaker, a little ditsy, a father figure, and kind of stupid. We all know.” Jeonghan’s sarcasm interrupts the older and he does so with an unreadable expression and without turning his head to completely look at us.

Sungcheol finally puts down his phone and looks up, eyes trained on Jeonghan’s, face set in a confused scowl, and his mouth slightly opened ready to question. He then lets out a almost silent huff and retaliates to the long haired boy. “Wow! So you don’t say a _single_ word to me these first few months of school, but the first thing that’s _kind of_ directed towards me, is that!?” Sungcheol lets out with his voice exasperated. “Fine. Okay. He’s Yoon Joengon-

“ _Jeonghan_.”

“-, I know nothing about him, except the fact that he thinks he knows everything about me, even though he clearly doesn't.” While leaning a little to see Jeonghan better, he continues the next sentence in a less hostile tone. “There’s obviously more to people then their life in school and you would know that if you’d just lift your head up and actually have a decent conversation with me for once.” Sungcheol speaks with what sounds like frustration and an almost desperate tone, like he’s wanted to say these words for quite some time.

I watch as Jeonghan places a headphone piece in each ear while rolling his eyes, but what I almost miss is the slight blush scattered across his cheeks and the barely noticeable pout on his lips.

I sit awkwardly in my seat with the tension that is now placed in the air.

_Great. I take back anything I said about this group working out…_

Letting out a soft sigh, I ignore both of them by taking out my ipod and earphones, then laying my head _completely_ down this time, while listening to music.

Even though it’s only around eleven thirty, my eyes feel heavy, like they're being weighed down by sleep. The tiredness I feel right now is not the same as when I’m in my own room at home. That kind is from the comfort surrounding me and how dark and cozy the room feels. This kind of sleepiness I’m feeling now is from social exhaustion and having that panic attack earlier may also have something to do with this.

While my eyes fall shut to the world, the last thing I hear is the soft piano playing in my ears, with visions of the gray-blue haired boy gracing my imagination.

●●●

My heavy head shoots up from it’s resting position as the shrieking bell pulls me back down to reality(much to my dismay), I notice that both of my table mates have already gone and I’m left in my seat a little dazed and sleepy from the short-lived nap. I hear some people in the hallway saying something about food and I’m reminded that this period is now indeed lunch time. Rubbing my eyes a little bit, I search for the container my pre-packed lunch is in, but my nose scrunches up in confusion as I’m not seeing _any_ sign of the plastic holder.

_What? I swore I placed it in my bag…_

With a frustrated huff, I stand from my stool and place my earphones back into my ears while I’m exiting the nearly vacant classroom and decide to head towards the courtyard.

... _Wait…_

_The run in with the gorgeous giant this morning… It must have fallen out without me realizing it. Of course._

The stranger's face flashes in my memory, his beautiful smile and kind eyes that are a creamy shade of brown, float around in my mind like a delicate wind swirling around my head. A certain affluence floods over me while thinking about him and I come to a spontaneous conclusion, a conclusion that I am sure of, a conclusion that is hopefully going to change my life.

He’s the person I’m going to open up to, he’s going to be it. Well that is if he lets me, but I don’t want to think about that. I’m ready for that change though, I’m ready to let go of all my fears and worries.

●●●

The glare of the late October sun is filtered with pale yellows and soft browns; that tinge of an approaching autumn intermingled with lengthening shadows and the sense of a spice is in the air. The crisp wind makes me shiver slightly as I walk outside through the courtyard. Since my lunch is gone (probably lost in the streets of Busan) and I'm not quite comfortable with such an unfamiliar cafeteria, I decided to read outside while waiting for my next class. My previous school was actually not as open as my current one. In fact, they would never allow us to eat outside, not that anyone would want to; the landscaping was nothing special like it is here.

Here the sturdy oak trees are flourishing with lush colors of deep oranges and faded greens, even in early fall and the bladed grass is cut precisely with not a trace of a single weed. To simply put it, it’s beautiful. I take in the calming scenery while beginning to search around for a place to sit, preferably under one of the many aging trees. Soon enough, I find myself seated in a shaded area, back against a sturdy trunk, legs stretched out, and my book placed between pale hands. In my ears, soft music continues to play, creating swirls of silky rhythms which is identical to the chilled breeze currently surrounding me, bringing a tranquility throughout my entire body.

I only get about two pages into the novel before letting out a sigh, and beginning to feel a certain sleepiness from earlier and before I know it my eyes are already shut.

●●●

A soft force stirs me enough to come back to my senses from my short lived cat nap. There is a pressure focused on my shoulders and I can feel it guiding me gently, almost as if I was falling to the side and what I assume to be hands is pushing me back into place.

_Wait, hands?!_

Cautiously I open my eyes, fearing the worst, and slowly begin to lift my head as well. The sight in front of me is the ‘ _too close for comfort_ ’ blue haired stranger with wide and distressed, chestnut eyes.

"WHAT THE HELL!" The sudden words leave my mouth hurriedly, raspy, and low, (probably because it’s the first time I’ve said something in almost three years) while the back of my head knocks roughly onto the solid tree behind me; book now forgotten in the midst of the surprise. Everything happens so fast and honestly my brain can’t catch up for shit at this moment.

Not knowing what exactly to do I end up just letting out a low groan and trying to massage my thumping and already swollen skull while squeezing my eyes tight, almost missing the way dark tawny eyes stare at me with panic and concern.

_Seriously_ _, why is he here?! I’m not ready to face him and why does something embarrasing_ _always_ _happen when we meet? And oh my god, my head is_ _pounding_ _!_

My whole body is a trembling mess of nervous and panic as I lean in on myself, knees pulled close to my racing chest and trembling hands pressed hard on my pulsing scalp.

In the midst of my self apprehension, soft yet strong hands gently move my shaking pair away and begin to slowly rub complacent circles into my raven crown.

Everything slows down drastically and it feels like time has frozen and without even registering what is fully happening, my body begins to move on its own accord and gradually I lean into the calming touch. At first I scrunch up my face in confusion but that soon fades to a more relaxed feature.

My breaths become more even and less ragged than before.

When in control of my thoughts again, I also become hyper aware of my current surroundings. I notice that soft melodies are still playing in my ears, the autumn breeze is still salient, and then I remember that the tall boy is _still_ hovering over me and his hands are still on me. (Yeah that sounds a bit awkward now that I think about it.) As much as I honestly would want to stay in this position for eternity; basking in the autumn air with reassuring touches, I can’t.

Finding my voice I willingly open my mouth for what feels like the first time in forever. "Um, could you please get off of me..." I inwardly cringe at how you can basically hear the weakness in my abeyant voice.

_Wow Wonwoo, so smooth. You sound like a child, be more stern_ _ugh_ _!_

Sadly I feel his hands move hurriedly away and I already begin to miss the warmth that accompanied the strangers soft touch. Blankly I stare as the darker boy scrambles away, to about two feet in front of me, then hastily leans on his clothed calves. My eyes then move to his lap where I see hands wringing themselves out nervously and a sense of familiarity rushes over me.

_He must be just as nervous as I am, though I can’t imagine why…_

I begin looking towards nothing in particular and realize how quiet it is. Even though we are in a school, there’s only me and him currently sitting outside.

The dry air fills my lungs at a normal pace, but the words from earlier left a scratchy sensation in the back of my mouth. So I unconsciously clear my throat in a quick manner.

"Hi! I'm Kim Mingyu and I'm a Junior!" The boy ‘Mingyu’ practically shouts, with a hand waiting to be shook and everything.

I scoot back just a little at the sudden loudness.

_Hmm. Mingyu. That suits him quite well, in fact I think that name is perfect for him._

"Oh. My name is Ki-"

"I heard you when you were yelling out your introduction the first time..." I say while taking out one of my headphone pieces then the other, since the music had stopped playing minutes ago. Also I notice my book haphazardly lying in the grass and decide to pick it back up as well.

_Wait… dammit, what I just said to was too hostile! This is just so new to me, I'm not really sure how to properly approach him. Think. Think._

My eyes search for something to talk about. Trees? To boring. My book? This guy probably doesn't even read. Weather? To mainstream.

I then hastily move my eyes back down towards his still stretched out quivering hand (as If he's scared of me) and mindlessly ask, "Why are you shaking?" then watch as he stiffens up and quickly brings his hand back down and places both hands on his clothed thighs, rubbing them up and down nervously.

Looking away from the sight, I begin to feel the atmosphere become awkward.

_Great._

While moving the-now cold to the touch-book back and forth in my hands, Mingyu is first to break the silence.

"Sorry, um, for scaring you..." The sincerity in his voice surprises me nonetheless and Mingyu’s kindness leaves me just a little bit speechless. "Also, sorry for this morning, I honestly wasn't paying attention while I was walking." My mind blanks for just a second due to his words. How can he say sorry to someone like me?! I mean if we’re being honest here we are both in the wrong for what happened this morning. He wasn’t paying attention and I was being careless.

Not finding the right words to say, I sit there quietly on the chilled grass, as cool wind blows in spontaneous gusts and I let the silence consume the two of us.

"Cute." Mingyu's voice is so quiet I almost miss the word that once again breaks the quiet.

_Did he just say cute? Me?_

"What?" I lift my head up at an alarming rate and stare at him like he’s got four eyes, because seriously didn’t he _just_ say I was… cute?

"Name!" Mingyu practically yells out, surprising me a little. "I said name." He says in a calmer tone and looking a little nervous.

"Oh" Of Course he said name, I need to get my head out of the clouds. He probably thinks I'm quite ugly compared to him anyways… Mingyu’s the kind of guy that girls stop and stare at, take pictures of him, and gets asked out often.

_No, I can’t think of that now! He’s the one I’m going to open up to and it might be happening a little faster then I may have wanted, but t-that’s okay I guess._

"Um, Wonwoo. Jeon Wonwoo." I quietly mutter out, while looking back down towards my moving hands. _Good. You’re doing good. That’s one step forward._

"Wonwoo." The second my name leaves his pink lips, my heart skips ever so slightly and I become a little anxious.

We sit quietly in each others presence, but during this time I feel his eyes on me like a lion does with it’s prey. Wow, does he ever stop staring? He’s making me a complete and utter mess. While I’m in the midst of my own thoughts I hear a sudden gasp and look up. I see Mingyu staring down towards… my hands? He now has his own slowly beginning to reach towards my shaking ones and I follow his line of sight to where my-

_No...no no no!_

_Not my scars!_ That is one thing I'm definitely not ready for him or _anyone_ for that matter to know about! I hurriedly stand and gather my things, there’s no way I’m doing this whole friend thing today, I just can’t. My heart and head are starting to race like crazy, while my breathing is beginning to pick up and _no god_ this can’t be happening!

"W-wait, where are you going?!” I ignore his words and continue to pack my things, but it’s his next words that makes me completely stop.

"I, Uh, want to get to know you!"  


	5. Understanding A Good Kind Of Change

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wonwoo kind of gets it now.
> 
> **WARNING: Mentions of a tramatic accident**
> 
> Hey guys!!! I am soooooo sorry you had to wait for this (crappy) chapter! I have been extremely busy with college and work lately, so please understand :) Also let me know what you think Joonea will do or if he'll do anything ;) I want to know your thoughts. Oh and turns out Mingyu is an unreliable narrator, shocker!! But if you no have idea of what I'm talking about, head on over to Mingyu's POV in 'Too Quiet' You'll understand, promis! Also sorry if there is any grammer or spelling errors, it's currently 4am. Thank you guys so much for dealing with my wretched updating schedule and sticking with me ^-^

"I, Uh, want to get to know you!" Mingyu all but staggers out.

_ What the hell did he just say? Did I hear him wrong? _

I drop the remaining items in my hands to the ground and stand up without looking towards him. My eyes are too shaky to concentrate on anything and I feel the beginnings of a semi panic attack starting to form. I’ve never told  _ anyone _ about my scars and here he is, seeing everything I’ve kept a closed secret for years.

_ You need to calm down, nothing's going to happen with him here, remember? You’re okay.  _

"What?" My voice comes out embarrassingly low and a little scratchy ;  you can definitely tell I never use it. In the corner of my eye I can see Mingyu is frozen still, with his mouth gaping open. I don’t dare turn around.

"I want to get to know you." He says, sitting up a little straighter, confidently and without hesitation.

_ How can he be so calm about this? Oh, that’s right, he probably makes friends on a daily.  _ I’m the one who’s overreacting, but aren't I allowed to? I’ve never had anyone say that to me before; to basically be friends and learn more about me.

Finally, I turn around and look straight into his deep brown eyes, almost getting lost in the determination that’s flowing from them. I continue to look at him with confusion and surprise, not fully understanding why he’s said what he did, he  doesn't even know much about me; other then my name. How is Mingyu so sure he wants to get to know me?

I'm not sure how long we stay staring at each other, but what pulls us out of our trance is the sudden sound of the school bell.

_ Thank god. _

I’m the first to break eye contact, as I frantically turn around to gather my belongings that are still spread across the ground.

_ But this is what you wanted! You want to become his  _ **_friend_ ** _ , to  _ **_open up_ ** _ , to  _ **_talk_ ** _!  _ My brain screams at me and it’s right, but this is happening too quickly for me.

I’m suddenly pulled out of my thoughts by a yank on my sleeve, like I’ve been caught in a web of some sort and I’m desperate to leave. I look at him and plead with my eyes for Mingyu to let me go.  _ I can’t do this! _

His own eyes widen in surprise and before I know  it he’s retracting his hand away quickly, holding his wrist to his chest with the other hand, looking somewhat afraid and I take this as my chance to escape. Gathering up my remaining items quickly, I move away towards the back doors of the school. 

The second I step into the school I quickly look behind me to check and make sure Mingyu isn't following me.  _ Good, he's not. _

I take in a few deep breaths and let them out slowly as I lean my back heavily onto the cream wall behind me. I bite my lip to concentrate on slowing down my racing heart and quivering hands. Once I open my eyes again the halls are empty of most students, other than a few stragglers rushing to their next class.

●●

“So, your classes that you’ve been to today, were they okay, did you make any friends?”

I’m sat back inside the  counselor's office, as promised earlier this morning. 

_ Friends?  _

I nervously begin biting my lower lip in thought “Um, i-is it okay i-if I talk?” I ask while looking down.

Here’s the thing, I’m not a  _ hundred percent _ comfortable talking yet, that much is obvious, but I need help on the whole ‘Mingyu’ situation and I believe that Mrs. Choi will be able to help me in some way or another. Plus  if I can spontaneously spout out words to Mingyu, how hard should it be to ask a couple questions to the counselor?

“Oh uh” She hesitates “Y-yes sweetie, go right on ahead, feel free to talk whenever you feel comfortable.”  The tone in her voice  it can clearly be heard that I had caught her off guard, but the kindness that’s laced in it helps me relax. I watch as she scoots towards the end of her seat and places her manicured hands on top of one another.

I gulp down hard and take a few uneven breaths. “Well there’s this gu- guy and…” That’s all I can manage to get out before my eyes reach the floor and become a little shaky. Hearing my voice and the feeling I have in my throat is just too foreign.

“It’s okay!” From the corner of my eye I can see her hands waving rapidly, as if to stop any second thoughts about what I had said. “That’s a good place to start, can you tell me his name?” She asks more calmly.

I look at Mrs. Choi briefly and back down towards my hands.

“Mingyu” I say breathlessly. “Kim Mingyu” The corner of my lips twitch up just a little, at the thought of the obnoxious boy, before resting back into its previous position.

Yes, the boy with abnormal hair, a scattered conscious, long legs, sincere words, who is unfairly beautiful, and has a voice that is all too loud; these are the few things that I can pin point about Mingyu, as of now. But hopefully over time or in the near future I’ll be able to name hundreds and thousands of things about him.

“Oh! Yes, I know him. He’s a very lovely boy, smart  too, and very popular.” She says with a kind smile. “I think he takes some senior classes, is that how you met him?”

Just one that I know of; Calculus. I think back to the class that I was beyond late to this morning. I think about how when I stepped inside, new uniform on, hair tousled, and completely oblivious to everyone else, my eyes only staggered to the figure who was currently explaining some god awful problem on the board. 

I remember when I saw him again, just half an hour ago, and how my reaction was almost identical to the first two; starstrucked. And this gets me thinking,  _ wondering _ , if this is how it’s going to be  _ every time _ I see Mingyu. 

I nod my head meaning yes and her mouth moves to form an ‘o’ shape. 

“U-m…” I begin to speak. “How do I-I approach him… like become… friends?” I finish the sentence a little broken and with my head facing the floor, as if I’m embarrassed to ask such a lame question. But I’ve never  _ had _ friends before so I’m not even sure where to start. That’s  _ atleast _ what I want the two of us to be, I mean there’s no way someone like him could even think about someone like me, in the way I think of him. Hell, I’m not even sure if he likes guys or not.

She readjusts her hands on top of her lap and thinks carefully before speaking. “Just be yourself.”

_ What?! _

I look at her bewilderedly.

Chuckling at my - what I assume -, hysterical looking face, she continues. “There is no right or wrong way to make friends, just be yourself and if said person enjoys who you truly are, then that alone should be enough for them.” She lets a soft smile spread across her face and my own face relaxes into one of a thinking mold.

_ I’ve only ever been myself in front of people, it just so happens that I’m actually shit at making friends…  _

A few beats of awkward silence passes before she speaks again. “Um, how about hobbies! Do you like to draw or study?” I keep quiet at the questions, watching as Mrs. Choi tucks some of her falling, bleached, hair behind an ear; a nervous manner she appears to have. “Maybe running, piano, creative writing, gardening, reading, cooki-”

“Reading” I interrupt her. “I like reading” I say mindlessly looking at some of the pamphlets laying across the glass table separating us.

“Well okay there! Right there is where you should start out.” My eyes shoot back up towards her, suddenly interested. “You don’t necessarily need to talk to him, just show Mingyu that you enjoy reading.”

Little does she know that I’m all too comfortable talking to Mingyu already, no pre steps needed. It just comes naturally when I’m with him. Still, I nod my head anyways and let her continue to talk about ways to approach him and so and so forth.

Somewhere in the middle of Mrs. Choi’s nonstop ideas, the bell for my last period rings, but that doesn't stop her from what she was saying, so I sit not so patiently in my chair until she says I can leave. A few more minutes pass and she gives me the go-ahead to  take off, I stand up abruptly while grabbing my satchel that was laying down beside the chair, and swinging it over my solder hastily, before making my way towards the wooden door.

“You’ve done amazing today Wonwoo! I’ll see you again on Monday.” She calls out from behind me and I turn to look over my shoulder and give her a twitch of a smile before completely heading out into  the already thinning hallways.

●●

My next class is Psychology, it doesn't even count as a college credit, but I needed one more class to fill up my schedule and I was not about to take Home Economics or Fashion Design.

And as my luck would have it, I’m lost once again. I’m pretty sure my class is on the first floor but for the name and number of the class, all the paper says is,  _ ‘Psychology Room 2’ _ and I have pretty much checked the whole ground floor and there’s no sign of said room. I give up when I realize, I’m seriously about to be late for my final class, and I decide to head to the attendance office for some sort of assistance.

As I’m rounding the corner, the front office just a few feet away, I notice Mingyu walking out while looking down stressfully at a piece of paper. Quickly, I turn back around and lean my back up against the wall, hopefully out of sight. I can’t have anymore reasons to be late to this class. I hold my breath as he passes in front of me, completely oblivious of my existence and continues to walk ahead. “I can’t believe I got my first damn after school detention from being like  _ a minute _ late to Literature.” He mumbles to himself quietly, but loud enough for me to hear him. “Tomorrow's gonna suck.”

A smile crosses my face, because  even someone that I once thought of as completely flawless and perfect has their imperfections.

●●

Thankfully the teacher was walking into the class just as I had arrived, and he greeted me as I handed him my note from the nurse, the same one I had previously used with Mr. Kyun as well.

“Oh right, right, right, well for now just go sit in the back seat beside Mr. Jihoon.” I turn where he’s pointing and I notice a couple of open seats. “Mr. Jihoon please raise your hand!” Slowly a small and lank arm raises up. I move my eyes down towards the owner who has a look on his face as if he’s ready to murder somebody or as if he just woke up. “Okay guys,” I listen, as he clasps his hands together loud enough to gather all the talking students attention. “I know it’s theater thursday and we normally watch a video, but  _ unfortunately _ I left the DVDs at home. So just talk  _ quietly _ amongst yourselves until the bell rings.” The class erupts into low conversations and gleeful banters.

_ Have I actually attended any sort of class today?!  _ I think to myself.

Cautiously I shuffle towards the empty seat between the windows and pissy pants. As I sit down I notice the person next to ‘Jihoon’ beginning to run his fingers through the latter's pale pink hair, with a fond look on his face and for a split second I think the shorter of the two will explode at the skinship, but  _ strangely _ and to my surprise, he doesn’t. In fact he leans into the delicate touch and then it dawns on me.

That must be his boyfriend.

They’re so open with each other and so comfortable, which is something new to me.  _ Maybe this school is just completely different from my previous one.  _ I think to myself as I turn away and place my headphones in, not wanting to look like a creep from staring at the two. But then I get hit with another realization; Huang Joonea.  _ Maybe, just maybe, he’s the only one with a problem with this kind of thing. _

I feel a tap on my back and sheepishly turn halfway around. “Hi, I’m Joshua, what did you say  your name was again ?” I stare at the brunette. He has nice features and a piercing in his cartilage that seems to be out of place on him.

I notice his eyes abruptly looking somewhere behind me and I take it as my chance to turn back around, not wanting to start any conversation.

“Junhui! Don’t worry about taking notes, Mr. Jang forgot the DVD’s again.” Joshua says behind me, rather loud and overly happy.

“Hey Jun, what the hell was your problem today in P.E.? Why would you leave D.K. to get in trouble and not at least help him get out of detention ?!” The one who was previously ‘petting’ Jihoon  asks the person, ‘Jun’, who has just sat in front of Jihoon. It’s not surprising that they’re all talking around me due to the fact that anyone can see I have headphones in, they just don’t know that I have nothing playing.

“Oh, you two haven’t heard about his true love named Minghao? That’s  why he was so out of it today!” The brunette who’s sat behind me questions. “He was having a freakout with Mingyu before and after P.E.” He says through chuckles as knowing ‘Oh’s’ can be heard from beside me.

My ears perk up at the name.  _ They know Mingyu? _

“Yah! Soonyoung, I was not about to get another detention! You know my mom, she’ll probably strangle me if it happens again. And shut up Joshua, I was  _ not _ freaking out, I was just... overthinking!” Jun replies back, ears tinted red from the sudden accusations.

“Oh we know about Minghao and Jun. Mingyu told us.” Jihoon says, uninterested in the abrupt topic. He then proceeds to take Soonyoung’s unoccupied hand and begins playing with the latter's fingers, intertwining and unwrapping each individual digit.

_ So coupley, you would think the two are married. _ I think to myself and begin to imagine Mingyu’s hands; how warm they felt guiding my shoulders back. I imagine those same warm hands intertwining with my own and I suddenly begin to feel the back of my neck heat up at the sweet gesture. Once I bring myself back out my own thoughts, the four friend’s conversation has seemed to switch from something else while I wasn’t paying attention.

“Hm, this reminds me of freshman year; Mingyu helping with Jun and what not.” Joshua says absently. “When you know… his dad, um said those things about you two and how Mingyu was more affected than either of you, but he still did everything he could to make the both of you feel comfortable, you know?” A solemness fills the air and I’m completely clueless of the whole story itself, but somehow I feel sadness for Mingyu.

“None of it was his fault though, just his shit of a dad. Mingyu shouldn't have to apologize on his father's behalf.” Jihoon spits out while moving closer to his boyfriend. He lets out a sigh and continues. “He’s been a little off lately and we all know it. Even if he doesn’t see the change himself, we can.” Noises of agreement can be heard and the atmosphere suddenly becomes apprehensive and fragile.

Sooyoung nods mindlessly in agreement. “I mean, the last time he even hung out with us was during Seungcheol and Vernon’s last soccer game and that that was, what, like a  month ago? It just doesn’t make  sense.”

_ What are they talking about? What’s wrong with him? What happened with his dad? And is he talking about the same Seungcheol in my other class?  _  All of these thoughts are currently running rapidly in my head.

“He’s like, more… distant? I don’t really know how to explain it.” Jun begins to speak, while moving his hands for visual struggle on what he is trying to say. “One minute Mingyu’s fine and happy and just _himself_ , then the next he’s distracted and silent, like he’s thinking _way_ too hard about something.”

“Guys, what- what if he’s , um, depressed?” I hear Joshua’s voice speak carefully behind me. “I mean, have any of you noticed that he doesn't eat lunch anymore, never wants to go anywhere, and yes he jokes around with all of us still, but even that’s become more rare.” Everyone is silent, but the movement of Jihoon’s hands clenching catches my eyes. “I know it’s impossible for us to understand completely about what’s going on inside his head, but maybe we should talk to him- not now of course, but-”

“Then when?” Jihoon interrupts. “Why do we need to wait? Why should we wait when everything is pointed out clearly and most of us were too  _ damn blind _ to see that he needs our help!” I tense at the tone of Jihoon’s voice. He’s not really yelling loud enough to gather everyone's attention, but the emphasis he spoke with was fierce and worrisome.

“Babe calm down, we didn’t kno - ”

“It doesn't matter,” He interrupts  Soonyoung this time, but in a more quiet tone. “ We should have known from the moment he told us about what his dad had said… we should have realized. You know he’s not the type to express his feelings, especially when he’s feeling upset or sad about something. He only cares about helping others,  _ never _ himself.”

The last sentence gets my brain moving into hyper speed.  _ He really  _ **_is_ ** _ a nice person, no facade like I thought. _

Joshua lets out a sigh “You’re right, just give me a day or two to watch him and how he acts, to at least make sure , you know? Then I will get us all together and we’ll talk about this whole thing with him. Trust me, I don’t like to just sit around and watch him like this either.”

After Joshua speaks, everyone agrees dejectedly with the plan and begins another conversation about due dates for an upcoming project, but I’m still sat here thinking about Mingyu. Multiple questions  linger in my head like a bad smell; Why is he feeling so down? What happened with his dad that is so horrible? Are these four his best friends?  

●●

After the final bell of the day, I wait for everyone to file out of the stuffy classroom before I move from my spot in the rear of the class. I glance  at the four talkative friends, who leave without a single glance in my direction.

Since my last class is near the back of the school, I make my way out the back doors and realize I’m a lot further away from the front of the school than I originally thought. I don’t mind the walk though, I enjoy the greenery this place has to offer if we’re being honest.

A soft smile graces my cooling face as I step off the final step of the descending stairs leading behind the school. The weather has  gotten more of a biting chill due to the  now overcast sky. It’s quite beautiful with all the shades of opaque blues and cool grays above me.

I’m about halfway to the front gates when a moving figures to my right catches my eye. I subtly move my gaze to the side and notice none other than Joonea himself, he’s surrounded by mostly boys and a couple of girls. Most of them are talking and having conversations with each other or messing with their phones after a long day of school. But not Joonea, no, he’s staring straight at me. Dull and forceful eyes watching my every move. A chill runs heavily down my  back, like it had this morning when he whispered near my ear, and I forcefully move my eyes ahead of me and make it seem as if I hadn’t even noticed him, while walking right through the front gates.

_ I’m used to this.  _ I tell myself, remembering how it was at my old school, so maybe if I ignore him, nothing will escalate to anything more. But then again, I did slap him in the face this morning. I wouldn’t actually be surprised if he ended up beating me into a pulp to be honest. I’ll just have to make sure I stay clear of him for a while. Maybe he’ll forget.

●●

I end up catching the next train, which is supposed to arrive thirty minutes after the one I was  _ supposed  _ to be on. I ended up missing one of the streets I was meant to turn down and ended up walking a few blocks opposite of where I needed to be. What can I say, I just moved here so this is hardly fair to be honest.

But luckily the train had arrived early so it wasn’t such a big deal in the end.

●●

I come up to my quaint house and check our mailbox before walking up to the door.

Empty. Figures.

Once inside, I lock the front door behind me and walk down the hallway and into my room, which is still littered with half empty boxes, and immediately change out of my new uniform; hanging the clothing up, just to be worn again tomorrow. Then, padding over to my dresser, in nothing but a pair of boxers, I start rummaging through a few drawers attempting to find a pair of sweatpants and a jumper, only to remember that both items I’m looking for are probably still folded inside one of the many boxes.

A few boxes later and I manage to find a pair of black sweats and a dusty maroon jumper. Perfect. I smile to myself once the comfortable clothing is covering me and make my way to the lit kitchen, stomach growling at the thought of food.  _ That’s right, I haven't had anything to eat today… I just hope dad sorted all the utensils and pots yesterday. _ I voice inside my head while biting my lower lip in thought.

The pots and pans seem to be in all the correct places, much to my relief, and I instantly begin to make dinner for both my father and I. Nothing  too spectacular; just rice, some kimchi, and seaweed soup. I ended up adding in more pork into the soup  than what’s actually needed, just because I’m so hungry. I follow the handwritten recipe as  precisely as possible, trying to make it just as my mother had. And with two burnt fingers later, I successfully achieve the taste I was hoping for and begin to serve myself a hefty portion. 

I bring my dinner out into the living room and turn the TV onto a melodrama that seemed interesting at first glance. I’m not really paying all that much  attention to the show, just wanting some type of noise to fill the empty space, while I consume the surprisingly delicious meal.

_Mom’s recipes were always the best_ , I think while smiling into my spoon full of rice.

●●

After doing the dishes and placing dads portions in the microwave, I take a much needed shower. The hotness of the water helps me relax into a neutral mood and I begin to feel more at home in the new house. Once back into my previous attire, I check the time and notice it’s only 8:40.  _ Dad should be home around nine-thirty if the schedule is the same as the last. _

Padding over to my satchel, I pull out my novel and move over towards my messy bed. I’m about three pages in and when I begin feeling the heaviness of today on my drooping eyes. I let out a yawn and continue for another few words before my eyes start to unfocus and I take it as the sign to go to bed. While stifling another yawn, I turn of my table  lamp and lay my book beside my alarm before rolling onto my side.

My mind becomes completely clear of any thoughts and I allow my tiredness to take over all functions and, slowly and peacefully, I fall into sleep.

●●

_ “Wonwoo what do you think we should have for dinner tonight?” Mom's sweet voice  _ _ fills _ _ the car and I pull my eyes away from my book and smile back at her in the rearview mirror. I watch as her eyes crinkle up just like mine do. _

_ She had just picked me up from school and we are now on our way to the supermarket to say ‘hi’ to dad and then pick up a few things to make dinner. Good thing mom’s a really great cook and can make anything turn into a five star meal! _

_ “Um, anything but fish!” I say through giggles, while pointing my finger almost accusingly towards her. “Please, no more fish!” _

_ “Oh come on!” She exaggerates “So you’re telling me, you don’t like when I cook spicy  _ **_fish_ ** _ soup?” She says in mock hurt, knowing that I despise any sort of seafood, and  keeping her eyes on the road. _

_ “Yes, especially that!” I say while sitting up from my seat and leaning towards the console. I feel my seat belt begin to restrain me from getting closer _ , _ so I hastily unbuckle my seatbelt, but as soon as the click of the button resounds in the small car, my mother does a double take towards the backseat. _

_ “Sweety, put that back on right now,” The tone of her voice scared me into instantly buckling up. She then looks back at me again with worriedness in her eyes. “What have I told you abo-” _

_ Before she can even finish, a loud horn and  _ tires _ shrieking,  _ piercing _ both of our ears and the next thing I know the car rapidly jerks forward, causing my body to violently crash forward multiple times; knocking my breath out with each heave. My seat belt rubs so forcefully across my petite chest, that I can already feel the bruises and burns beginning to form. Everything then begins to happen in slow motion, as I feel the gravity around us begin to roll upside down. I can only think of one thing at this moment _ : _ my parents; mom specifically because, other than the metallic sounds of scraping metals and burning tires, I hear my mom's screams and cries for something that I can’t quite make out due to my own screaming. _

_ And as quickly as it all started, it ends just as fast.  _

_ Everything around me is still. _

_ I feel my body violently shaking and begin to open my tightly shut eyes. The first thing I notice is that I can’t hear anything other than a constant ringing in my ears, but I can smell iron and burning metal and rubber tires in the smoky air. Next I try to move, but a sharp pain erupts in my left leg. I let out a whimper, due to the pain, and reach up to wipe the tears streaming down my face, but instead I feel something more sticky  _ _ than _ _ what can be considered water. I bring my shaking hands in front of my eyes and see dark red everywhere. _

_ Seeing that little bit of red makes me realize just how much the inside of the car is actually covered in the dark substance. I follow where the liquid seems to be flowing from. _

_ “ _ **_Mooooom_ ** _!” _

_ The sight before me is the most gruesome thing I have ever seen. _

_ “NO NO NO NO NO!” I scream at the top of my lungs. “Wake up mom! Wake up!  _ **_Wake u_ ** _ -” _

●●

“Wonwoo, are you awake?” The steady knocking jerks me out of the nightmare/memory and I’m left sat in an upright position with sweat clinging to every part of my body and little rapid pants flowing out of my dry mouth.

_Just a dream_ , _you’re okay._ I reassure myself while wiping off my forehead with my sleeve, _But then again it also wasn’t a dream, that actually happened. It’s your fault._ A part of me tries to reason. I shake my head at the hateful thoughts and calm down my breathing with a couple of deep  breaths. _I’m fine. I’m safe. I’m going to be okay._ I repeat like a metra in my head.

The creaking of my door causes me to jerk my head up.

“You weren't making any noise, I was just making sure you’re okay.” My dad says while standing hesitantly in the doorway, worried expression written all over  his aging face.

“I-I’m… fine. I’m fine” I croak out of my dried mouth, testing my voice with my dad.

_ It’s the least I can do for him, it’s been long enough. _

I begin to feel a sort of weight lifting of my heavy shoulders as I look towards his shocked face, mouth hanging open and everything, but he quickly composes himself and gives me a caring smile. My heart begins to swirl,  it’s been awhile since I’ve seen that.

“Good, I wanted to let you know that I’ll be staying in Geoje tonight for a seminar about the market ratings. I’ll be coming home around lunch tomorrow, so don't worry about dinner. I left some money on the table beside your lunch.” I nod my head at his chirpy tone. Hearing it makes me happy to know that he is feeling more relieved. He gives me another fond smile. “I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?” I nod my head, lips turned up slightly in a caring smile. “Good. I love you.” And with his parting words, I listen to his steps making their way to the front door and heading out.

_ I feel good. _


	6. Baby Steps

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It'll start out slowly and then all fall through at once. At least that's what I was tought.

Maybe it’s because my whole life I’ve been ‘that one kid’ you know, the quiet one that always sat by themselves at lunch and the one who never got to have a partner during projects because no one picked them, but would quickly play it off as ‘I wanted to do it by myself anyways’. The one kid who people either whispered about in the hallways or completely ignored them altogether. Yeah, that kid was me.

At the time, when I was a bit younger, I would be content with just hanging around my parents, and they knew that.

I was more outgoing, I guess you could say. I would speak my mind, laugh freely, and joke around; just being a kid, you know?

Sometimes when I’m at home and the house is quiet enough to hear my own thoughts, I try to slip myself into the old days, see if I can recreate the scenes in my head, from sheer memory. The one memory I try to remember the most is from when I was ten years old. It was during summer break and mom, dad, and I all went to the beach for the weekend;) it’s one of my favorite memories for a simple reason.

●●

**_Flashback_ **

_ I’m wrapped up in a scratchy fleece blanket that my mom bought at a supermarket a few months back. The fabric is already worn down and has our signature fabric softener scent to it, but it does it's job in protecting my petite body from the cool breeze along the sandy night beach. “Mom?” I continue to look at the calming waves that move in and out rhythmically along the shore, just a few yards ahead. Right now dad is grabbing the camera from the car and my mind is just kinda wandering on it’s own. _

_ “Yes baby?” I feel movement beside me as her soft voice cuts through the tranquil atmosphere. _

_ It's times like these that I feel so relaxed and calm, I believe that- despite all the hardships I'm currently going through in school- everything will eventually be okay. “How did you and dad meet?” _

_ “Why the sudden interest” I shrug my shoulders weakly and she lets out a slow sigh. “Well… we met in college a long time ago and I guess it was love at first sight.” _

_ Love at first sight? My books that I have read has somehow also told me the same thing. Is it really true though? Can you really fall head over heels for someone with just one glance their way? Was my crush in second grade considered love at first sight? Surely not... _

_ There’s a beat of silence until I feel a hand resting gently on my shoulder. I look up at my mom with a questioning stare. “You know, someone once told me that, as we look at the stars that are shiny and beautiful, because we looked at a star that floats in the galaxy, somewhere far away, then maybe when we look at a star that floats near you it may not be as beautiful as we thought. But that’s not true.” She finishes with a secret like whisper, as if I’m to never let anyone know of this information. _

_ “Why’s that?” I ask while looking up towards the sky with scrunched up brows. _

_ She lets out a low hum and continues. “Because when you do meet that person you’re meant to be with, they will be the most beautiful star.” _

●●

Finishing up my morning routine takes a little bit longer than normal, as I’m in front of the bathroom mirror - aka, one of my worst enemies - for a good half of the morning trying to get my stubborn hair to cooperate with me. I have honestly never tried this hard to make myself look like I somewhat care about my appearance, so as I’m running product covered fingers through my hair, I ask myself,  _ why do I care all of a sudden? _ I become satisfied with my dark locks  and quickly head towards the kitchen to grab my lunch, taking a mental note to  _ not  _ to lose this one. Next ting I do is stop by the front entrance to put on my sneakers and head out the front door, satchel slung over one shoulder and hands strategically placed inside my uniform pockets for warmth against the chilled weather.

To say I’m completely okay and fine this morning would actually be a lie. My mind is  _ still  _ slightly cluttered by my dream from last night. It is definitely not the first time I’ve had the vivid nightmare, and it mostly likely will not be the last either, but it is the mere thought of the past being brought up again that shakes me to the very core. This gets me thinking. I think about the depression and anxiety that arose from the accident. I’m not depressed anymore, I know that for a fact, but I definitely still have some issues I need to sort out and I’ve accepted the challenge.  _ I know _ that I have a low self esteem, due to the bullying from my previous schools and _ I know _ that my anxiety is triggered in the smallest of ways. I know all of this. That’s why I am ready for a change.

“JEON WONWOO! Over here!” I’m surprised to hear a voice call out amongst the bustling streets and I halt my steps to look around for the source. It didn’t sound too far away, but mostly everyone around me is either heading in an opposite direction in hasty steps or they are already talking to another individual, may it be a person in front of them or on the phone.  _ Huh, maybe I really am going crazy? _

 

“Hey I- WAAAAAH!” I turn towards the greeting only to be met with a cup of lukewarm coffee  spilling down one side of my blazer. There actually wasn’t even enough coffee inside to seep through the thick fabric of the school uniform, but I guess I’m lucky it was black coffee instead of a creamy mess, considering the uniform is navy. I watch the cup, that was once being held in the owners frozen hand, drop rapidly onto the chilled concrete, and roll a little to the side in the process. Bringing my eyes finally up towards the person in front of me, I’m thoroughly surprised to see that it’s Mingyu. It would make sense that he’s around here considering that we ran into each other yesterday near the same time. When our eyes meet, though, there is no slow motion reaction or the world stopping momentarily for the both of us to gaze into eachother’s eyes, like what happens in those foreign Nicholas Sparks movies. In fact, I like this version a whole lot better. It’s just us; two high school boys who just so happened to bump into each other for the uptenth time in the past twenty four hours.

 

“Are you okay?!” He asks in a shaky tone while taking my blazer into his hands and looking at the material. I’m honestly too stunned to even respond to him right now, so I stay rooted in place and watch on with an unreadable expression, as multiple bypassers look at the almost laughable scene. “Seriously tell me if something happened! Was it hot? Oh god your blazer is ruined! Are you fine? Hurt Anywhere? Holy shit, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to! Someone just bumped into me.” Mingyu rambles on and even though it’s kinda cute how he’s acting over a little spilled coffee, I finally open my chapped lips to stop the boy from talking any longer. “Are you oka-”

 

“Yes, I’m okay.” He’s still holding my padded shoulders lightly, which I’m only just now becoming hyper aware of, due to the heat radiating off of his delicate touch. He then looks back up towards my eyes and I look back at the younger calmly, as if to mentally let him know that I’m perfectly fine and there is nothing to worry about. I then notice how close we are - about two feet - and the atmosphere can be read as tranquil as a busy, pedestrian filled street can get. In fact we are so close I can smell a chamomile scent coming off of the younger and I’m curious if he uses a specific detergent to achieve this smell or if he applies a certain deodorant. It’s comforting.

 

“Y-you can let go of me now, I-I’m fine.” I barely whisper out, his eyes never leaving mine. 

 

“Oh, yeah. Sorry… “ Mingyu hastily says while pulling back his hands and shuffling away a few feet, as I hike my satchel up further onto my shoulder. “Um, m-my house is just down the road, like five minutes away and although they might be a little baggy on you, I have plenty of uniforms and uh…I can lend you one or you can have it I don’t mind, just as long as you don’t go to school in the one I just ruined.” Mingyu awkwardly offers and my eye’s comically widen from the giants(giant’s) sudden offer. He’s willing to loan one of his uniforms, over a little coffee stain? I can tell that the latter feels upset about the accident, but it’s just that; an accident. He owes me nothing. Plus, I have a few coupons for a chain dry cleaning business, I can just find the nearest one and take the blazer there this weekend.

“Look, I need to go back there anyways because I forgot my school bag, so it’s really not a big deal. Plus, we still have a while before school starts so… what do you say?” This time his voice is more confident as he waits patiently for my answer. Although I do feel kinda crummy that he left his bag...

_ Baby steps Wonwoo. Baby steps. _

I come to the short conclusion that I don’t  _ actually  _ need to change clothes, it’s honestly not even that noticeable, but I can tell by the youngers expression that he really is upset that this whole accident even happened in the first place, but it’ll be okay. “Um… I don’t think that’s necessary, but thank you for the offer.” I give him a small smile, in hopes that it will relive some of the pressure off of him, and I begin to slowly continue towards the subway station.

I hear quick steps behind me and then catch Mingyu’s silhouette in my peripheral with a grin plastered on his face and I let a twitch of a smile on mine as well. Although, I am a little surprised that he decided to go on and head to school without his bag. I mean _ it is  _ friday, but what if he has something due in another class, or maybe needs to do a little bit of studying before a test? Nonetheless, I’m still pretty happy he’s accompanying me on my ride to school. Though it does get me thinking, since he lives pretty close, how come I didn't see him on the ride to and from school _ yesterday _ ?

Minutes pass and we fall into a comfortable silence and it is honestly surprising how natural this all feels around him, almost like we’ve known each other for years.  _ Will it be this easy with others though? Can I possibly be able to accomplish this again with another person? _

We arrive at the crowded station pretty early, with business men and women in a hurry to catch their morning rides and students from all different schools pass in laughing groups with a couple of tired stragglers following closely behind. I also notice a certain group of girls, from a different school then Mingyu and I, look towards the younger and began to whisper and giggle. While another is taking a picture with her cell, quite noticeably.  _ They could at least be subtle about what they’re doing _ . I think dumbfoundedly to myself.  It’s just then that I notice how much I’ve gravitated towards Mingyu, unconsciously of course. Maybe out of comfort or another emotion I can’t place a finger on just yet.

Once the desired destination is in view I automatically head towards the ticket machines instead of keeping straight towards the waiting platforms. “Why are you buying an individual ticket?” The taller asks with his voice slightly raised, so that I can probably hear him a tad better over the noisy station. “Just buy a card, it’s more convenient.” I continue to press the screen with a feather light touch and buy my ticket. I’m not too surprised that the younger decided to ask me the question. It is quite odd, if you consider the whole situation as an outsider.

I think carefully before speaking, then turn swiftly and notice the younger jump a little from my sudden action. “I don’t have money to just freely use, plus it’s kind of useless considering I only take the metro to get to school.” I finish my transaction and look towards Mingyu with a shy smile. He stares at me with an unreadable expression and I just pray to any god out there that he doesn’t think lowly of me. Mingyu isn't stupid, I know he can use his mental context clues and replace the missing information to conclude I'm not as well off as him.

We continue to walk until we reach the designated platform, where the train has already arrived, and climb onto the congested transportation, much to my distaste. Not only do I not have enough money just to use whenever, that’s only half the truth. I’m actually not too fond of the crowded metro. Of course I can only play it off as calm for so long until I get noticeably more uncomfortable.

I notice the younger scanning his eyes around crowd for a place to stand, probably somewhere better than smashed up against the pole in the dead-center of the aisle. I stand patiently waiting for Mingyu to make the decision of where to move and just before the subway takes off, he grabs my sleeve, fingers ghosting just above my palm. I hear a hasty “come on” before he’s pulling me towards the end of the aisle and all I can do is follow obediently. We squeeze thinly past families, businessmen, other students in uniform and everyone in between until we cramp ourselves in the space between the emergency exit door and the aisle.

Mingyu lets go of my sleeve, much to my dismay, and breathes in deeply. “Itty-bitty living space,” He and I both laugh at the sudden - yet true - statement. I try not to laugh too loud, though, only because I want to be able to hear his melodic laugh. Is that weird of me? Should I want to quiet my own happiness for the sake of hearing someone else's? It’s not as if I’m harming anyone, I just feel this gut wrenching twist each time I begin to see the taller’s growing smile or the feathery notes of his laugh. Are you supposed to feel this way towards a friend?

With a jolt, the subway takes off. We watch as the passengers with nowhere to put their hands, including us, jostle in the aisle, swaying unintentionally as they attempt to find a hand hold and steady themselves. A few people bump into us, but one large man in particular suddenly collides into me, causing my forehead to bounce roughly onto the glass from the exit doors.

“Ahah,” I grumble as pain suddenly erupts on my already reddening forehead. As I raise one of my hands to soothe the pain I notice Mingyu shooting worried glances my way. The man mutters a weak “sorry” and turns back around, but god, that hurt. Mingyu looks towards me again, pinning his eyes to where my thin wrist rubs my injured temple. I shyly begin to smile at Mingyu to ease the youngers concern but the surging pain causes me to end up wincing anyway.

The next thing I know Mingy has his arm stretched out between me and the man, palm laid flat against the metal wall, and caging me into the small and secure space. I carefully move my eyes towards the younger’s face and notice a stoic stare planted heavily into his features. A sudden red heat begins to grace my own features. Mingyu shouldn't have to do this, but that does not mean I’m not grateful for his protective nature. The cart makes another strong jolt and I unconsciously stiffen my body, but the collision from before doesn’t happen again. Instead this time it’s the younger whose face is slightly scrunched up in a labored state. I silently give him my thanks and redirect my stare to anywhere but him for the rest of the ride. It’s not until a few more stops pass and the crowd thins out before Mingyu moves his arm down and I let out a tiny sigh of relief, thankful that he doesn’t have to endure it any longer.

●●

The train eventually lets us off at our designated stop and even though there’s less people from when we first got on the train, the flow of bodies is still in great numbers. I keep close to Mingyu’s side as we make our way towards the exit.

“Do you mind riding to school with me again on Monday?” I ask, just loud enough for the younger to hear me over the bustling streets. I’m genuinely curious if he will want to or not. After a few beats of silence I assume Mingyu didn’t hear me and I drop the thought all together until the latter replies with an affirmative ‘No, I don’t mind’. While nodding my head I can’t help but bite my lip, trying to prevent the smile forming on my chilly face.

A few minutes into our walk and comfortable silence has surrounded us as a whole. Nothing much more can be said about the stroll other than that. I look back on all the events that happened since yesterday and all I can think about is, how in the hell has someone like Mingyu become friends with someone like me? From what I’ve heard and seen, the younger is quite a popular guy and has plenty of friends. So why is it that he decided to stick around? I just hope it has nothing to do with the fact that I’m kinda broken, because the last thing I want from my first friend is to have our relationship built out of pity.

“Are you an overthinker?” The younger’s genuinely curious question yanks me out of my spinning thoughts of the latter.

I turn my head to look at Mingyu fully, quirking an eyebrow in the process. “Are you?” My deep voice resonates between us and my question to his makes the taller smirk.

“Yep” Mingyu exaggerates the ‘P’ at the end as he answers without hesitation. The sound and confidence of the boys answer catches me off guard and the next thing I know, my breathless laugh is another thing to fill the space between us.

I then let out a satisfied hum. “Yeah, so am I.”

“So uh, what about that book I had picked up yesterday? You like it so far?” He then asks right after I answer the previous question, which is leading me to believe this is some sort of a twenty questions segment.

My eyes widen comically and I nod my head at Mingyu’s random question. I hate to judge the guy, but it just seemed like he wouldn’t really be interested in things like literature. “ _ The Great Gatsby  _ is one of my favorites, so I like reading it from time to time.” I answer the youngers surprising question as simply as I can.

“Seriously!” Mingyu practically yells out with a booming voice and I about jump a mile from my own skin at his sudden loudness.

“I freaking love that book! Most people don’t even think I read to be perfectly honest with you, but that book is amazing, from the character development, foreshadowing, and literalization, to the atmosphere and setting...” He continues to talk about the plotline and how the author portrays love. I begin to feel some sort of knot forming in my gut and my face contorting into a soft smile, one that I have not used in quite some time. The more Mingyu continues to speak the brighter his eyes appear, showing different constellations and galaxies swirling in his eager state. Then it hits me.

Mingyu stops in his tracks and I do the same, but my mind definitely doesn’t stop with us. The younger takes one look at me, previous topic long forgotten, and the thoughts from before are only confirmed tenfold.

One: Mom was right and the second: Mingyu  _ is _ the most beautiful star.

I watch on in a trance-like state as Mingyu quickly reaches a hand up to the back of his neck in a nervous manner. “Um, u-uh, sorry for rambling. I just really like that book.” He says apprehensively. My previous smile slowly begins to fade at the youngers nervousness. Did I do something wrong? “You know,” The younger quickly begins. “you have an amazing smile, you should wear it more often.” He gives me a shy smile of his own and just like that he begins to walk through the entrance of our school, as if he just didn’t ruin my whole fucking life with that previous sentence.

I barely even notice the younger looking back at me as I follow closely behind, too concerned over my heart that’s currently beating at a million miles per hour.

“Hey  _ Ming-hoe _ !” An obnoxiously too loud voice yells from ahead. And there goes whatever moment Mingyu and I were currently - more like barely- having.

_ Oh my god, not this guy again. He creeps me the hell out. _

“I thought you would  _ never _ show up- oh, hey you’re the guy from the restroom yesterday morning. Jeon Wonwoo, right? I’m DK, the one who went to get the principal. Oh, that reminds me, did you get any sort of detention from slapping Joonea,-” The younger quickly blurts out and Mingyu gives me a curious look at the sudden statement. My previously pounding heart begins to beat more erratically. “-because I have a detention after school today; well I’m pretty sure I got that for multiple reasons.” DK mumbles out the last part.

I stare at the chatty male in front of me and I begin to feel a tiny chill run up my neck.  _ It’s happening.  _ My breathing isn't unstable yet, but I can feel the hitches in my throat and that’s all the warnings I need to know that I'm in the process of having an anxiety attack. My shoulders begin to gently shake and that’s when Mingyu reaches down and circles his warm hand around my shivering wrist, pulling us towards a different direction and distracting my chaotic mind, just for a millisecond. I can faintly hear DK yelling something in our direction and Mingyu responding, but I can’t quite make out what they’re saying. I’m just trying to calm myself down. Right now all I want is to find a quiet area and just  _ wait out _ the upcoming attack. I try to concentrate on the tingling warmth coming from the younger’s hand. I imagine said hand rubbing soothing circles onto my back and somehow Mingyu's voice also makes it into my consciousness, I then imagine him letting me know that everything's going to be okay.

I snap out of my attack the second my body is hit with the warm interior of the school building, the complete opposite from the biting chill of the current outside weather. I inhale a deep breath and focus my eyes on the nearly empty hall that Mingyu has brought us to, then back to the younger’s hand, still loosely wrapped around my wrist.

_ Did… did I just calm myself completely down in the matter of seconds?  _ Honestly my attacks have never been that short before. So this is just surprising to say the least.

The second I feel the heat of Mingyu’s hand disappear I become a little wary at the loss of contact. I take a light breath and carefully look up towards the younger. “Thank you, I- I uh don’t really like how loud he is. He kinda creeps me out, too.” I mentally curse myself for stuttering, but it seems the younger doesn’t even notice.

“Oh no, it’s fine! I’m pretty sure he creeps most people out, I’m just used to it because I’ve known him for so long. He never has any malicious intentions though.” Mingyu quickly adds.

A few beats of silence pass over us as students scatter out into the halls and inside classrooms. I deem myself calm enough to start talking again and I do just that. “I should head to my first period.” I announce wistfully and begin to walk away silently.

I’m only about three feet away when Mingyu catches my attention once again. “Wait, the bell hasn’t even rung yet!” The younger calls after me. I turn back around and continue to cautiously walk backwards and give him a timid smile; something I’ve done countless times all morning, so it seems.

I begin to think of yesterday when I spotted the younger coming out of the attendance office with a scowl and a slip of paper. “Don’t want to be late, I might join you in detention if I do.” And with those parting words I give Mingyu another - and bigger - smile while turning around and pulling out my schedule to see which room I need to go to.

●●

After my Literature class ends I get slightly more excited to know that I’ll be seeing the dusty blue haired boy next period. Navigating the school gets much easier the second day, although I’m still a tad bit slower getting around, at least I know where I’m going.

The room where my next class is being held is relatively empty, but the teacher is there nonetheless. She greets me and then points to where my seat is, not much else being said other then that. I feel grateful in a way, the teachers here are eons more understanding. Once sat, I take out the needed utensils and look around the room which is filling with more students as time passes. One student in particular catches my attention. Jeonghan, was it? The long haired boy from my anatomy class. The latter sits down in a desk to the left of me and gives me a subtle side glance, before taking out his own notebook and pencil. I continue on with looking around the class for any signs of Mingyu, but I become slightly disappointed when I notice most of the seats are filled and time is basically up for any wandering students left in the halls.

“He’s not here on Fridays.” I look to my left at the voice. Jeonghan is staring at me with a calm expression and head resting comfortably in his palm, hair falling loosely towards the side. I give him a questioning look. “Mingyu?” He asks with a raised brow and I turn my head away with a slight blush rising onto my cheeks.  _ Is this guy a mind reader or something?! _ I hear the older let out a tiny sigh and lean back into his seat. “He tutors underclassmen on Fridays, since he’s not a senior and because the kid is too damn smart for his own good, he doesn't have this class one day out of the school week.” Jeonghan then lets out a chuckle, nothing malicious, but as if he thought of something embarrassingly funny. “He honestly should've just skipped a grade, but he kinda has a ball and chain in the form of his old man. According to rumors, of course. I don’t really know him personally.” This gets me looking back at the other who then gives me a smile. I remember Jihoon also mentioning something about Mingyu’s dad, yesterday in class. Maybe as the two of us continue to get closer, the younger will let me know about his father.

“So you’re Wonwoo right? From Anatomy?” Jeonghan pulls me out of my inner thoughts with his sudden question.

“Yes.” I answer back quietly.

He gives me a slight nod and a knowing smile. “My friend, Chan, said he helped you out in the restrooms yesterday. Said he was cleaning one minute and the next thing he knew you flew into one of the stalls and apparently someone didn’t take your action too kindly.” My eyes widen at the sudden topic. “He also told me about how you slapped Joonea in the front office.” The older male says in a quieter tone. “That’s pretty brave of you. Not sure anyone has ever done  _ that  _ before.” Jeonghan opens his mouth again to elaborate more, but stops once he notices the teacher approaching him from a few feet away.

“Class is starting Mr. Yoon, please refrain from talking the entire period for once.” She announces without even looking at the latter, still preoccupied with passing out packets for today's lesson.

The rest of class is spent in relative silence as everyone is concentrating on the work packets we received. The questions aren't too bad, but I’m more distracted than normal. My brain will just not stop wandering. One second I’m writing down a formula and the next I am sat frozen and thinking of all the possible things that could revolve around Mingyu’s dad. Even though it is really none of my business, I can’t help but feel immensely curious about the topic.

“Want to walk to our next class, together?” Jeonghan asks once the bell rings, signaling us that it's time to switch classes.

I’m sat, staring up at the long haired boy, while he waits patiently for my response and to be honest I’m actually hesitant, but then I remember what the counselor said yesterday about making friends.

_ Baby steps. _

“Um, sure.” I watch as a huge smile spreads across Jeonghan’s face as he turns to grab his book bag.

Once in the bustling halls, The older decides to break our close silence. “So, I get the feeling you’re not much one for talking or maybe you’re just shy?” He suggests while pointing a finger towards me.

My gaze shifts towards the tiled floor like it's the most interesting thing at the moment. “I-I don’t really talk… much.” I stutter out helplessly, not wanting him to know about how I basically just started talking again for the first time in a few years,  _ just yesterday _ .

“Ah, I see.” His mouth forms into an O-shape when I look up to see his reaction. The older looks up at me with an unreadable expression and it’s then that I realize our height difference. “Sorry about yesterday, my first impression might have been too much, you know with the whole silent treatment and then the bitchy stunt I pulled.” Jeonghan apologises gently, while we continue to walk up the stairs in sync. “I mean, I’m not saying that’s not how I  _ normally  _ act because _ I am _ kinda bitchy,” He lets out a giggle at the little confession. “but that’s how I sometimes am in front of my friends.” I nod my head in understanding.

Once we enter the classroom I notice how the small amount of students from before are now spread out all across the room resulting in one or two people to a station. I also notice Seungcheol, my other table partner from yesterday, sitting near the back by himself, looking out the room’s window and down towards the barren courtyard. I glance towards Jeonghan slightly, noticing how his eyes seem to also land on the older, but he quickly averts them back towards an empty station up front. The male then straides to the vancent table and places his belongings down while motioning for me to sit beside him, all with a friendly smile. I comply and sit down nervously. There's a certain feeling in the air that is different from yesterday’s. I decide it’s has something to do with Seungcheol and Jeonghan, and I’d honestly rather not get between the two, so I opt to keep any questions to myself.

“Say, do you want to eat lunch with me and a couple of my friends?” Jeonghan breaks the strange air with his spontaneous question. I look towards the older with slightly lifted eyebrows. “You seem like the type that doesn't really  _ fancy  _ huge crowds.” Well he’s right about that. “Chan, Minghao, Seungkwan, and I all eat in the choir room on the third floor.” There’s that name again, Chan. He must really care about the younger or maybe they are best friends? I fail to respond immediately, which gives Jeonghan cold feet and he begins to mumble out a quick cover up. “I mean, unless you already have a place you eat at, that’s fine too.”

I give him a twitch of a smile to ease his nerves. “I don’t mind.” I then turn my head back towards the front and watch as the teacher walks in to start the lesson.

“Oh, okay. Then it’s settled.” I can hear the smile in his tone of voice and I silently praise myself for taking a step towards another friendship. This is what Mrs. Choi was talking about yesterday when she mentioned some tips about making friends.  _ Be yourself _ . So far that’s what I’ve been doing around the older and he still seems persistent, just like Mingyu is towards me.

“Everyone grab a textbook from the front and flip to chapter twelve, today we  _ dive  _ into the structure and organization of the muscular system.” Mr. Min’s gruff voice echoes throughout the nearly empty room.

●●

“Before you meet these three I want to let you in on a little info of some sorts, so you’re not so lost okay?” Jeonghan announces as we are placing our belongings into our bags. I nod my head and we make our way out the room and back into the busy hallway.

“So Chan is a freshman and he’s pretty outgoing, but you’re probably wondering ‘ _ why is this kid hanging out with a senior and a couple juniors?! _ ’ Well…” He drags on the word dramatically. “I guess you could say I picked him up and befriended him. The poor kid had no friends and don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t a friend request out of pity, I just had this pull to him you know? Like a mother’s instinct.” I follow closely as Jeonghan continues to explain, while also leading me to where I assume the choir room is. My hunch was right about him and Chan having a sort of special connection though; a mother and son sort of bond. I can believe it, considering the motherly vibe that basically  _ floats  _ off of the long haired male.

As we stop in front of a vending machine, Jeonghan continues to talk whilst purchasing some sort of cream bread. “Seungkwan is a junior and to put it bluntly, he’s a character.” I nod my head at the new name. “But he also has a very kind heart. Oh and he moved here from Jeju, so don’t be surprised if his accent slips out, we all just pretend and act like we understand what he’s saying sometimes.” He laughs at the statement and I also give a small smile at the thought of the younger’s confusing dialect. “Also don’t mention anything about volleyball because once he starts, he’ll never stop.” Jeonghan adds in more seriously, but I don’t bother to tell him that I’m actually not too fond of sports.

We make it into an empty room with chipped and worn music stands, alongside maroon colored plastic and metal chairs placed in a neat semicircle. The midday light casting from the wall of windows gives the room a tranquil feeling and I can see why the elder and his friends enjoy eating here. Jeonghan sits on the carpeted ground with a satisfied huff and I follow shortly after.

“The last one is Minghao, he’s also a Junior, but he’s a little different from the previous two... He moved here from China and honestly it was pretty hard for him in the beginning.” I look up at the older while also opening my lunch box, giving him a questioning stare. He looks at me with a somber smile, then pulls the plastic open from his recently purchased lunch, and lets out a sigh. “He was bullied quite a lot. It’s sad really. For a whole year he was just constantly criticized and verbally abused by a lot of his peers.” He looks down and continues. “He just had enough one day and finally  _ snapped _ . Nobody messed with him again after that. He was alone for so long that when I approached him, asking to join Seungkwan and I at a soccer game after school, he didn’t even think we were being sincere about it, he thought we had malicious intents.” Jeonghan raises his eyebrows and looks back up towards me with a content smile. “It took some convincing, but he agreed and although he was pretty timid at first, Minghao’s true self eventually began to show.” A twitch of a smile begins to appear on my face at the thought of a person becoming so brave and accepting of others even though he went through so many hardships in the first place. It reminds me of what I’m currently doing.

“Anyways, he’s pretty tough now and doesn't take crap from no one, like he did before. He found his voice and knows when to put his foot down. Other then that Minghao is quite nice and understanding.” There’s a beat of silence between the two of us before the door swings open to reveal who I recognize as Chan and another person walking in, which could either be Seungkwan or Minghao.

“Hey Jeonghan!” Chan says happily while sitting down beside the older. I continue to eat my food quietly as I notice the unknown boy, who accompanied Chan, sitting down a couple feet away from me. He doesn't really look towards me, too busy with typing out a text message. I then move my eyes swiftly back towards the other two.

“There’s my baby! How were your morning classes?!” Jeonghan gives the younger a suffocating hug once the latter places his lunch down. The sight is too sweet to watch and it honestly makes me smile at their close friendship.

“S-stop with the  _ baby thing _ already!” Chan protests weakly and moves away from the hug, while patting down his now messy hair. He lets out a huff and answers the older quietly. “...my classes were fine.” 

“They’re always like that.” The boy next to me places his phone onto the ground and reaches into his bag. “I’m Minghao.” He then places a straw into the yogurt he was previously searching for and looks at me with a laid back smile.

“Wonwoo.” I reply back shortly and turn my head back towards the, once again, opening door.

“Guys! Oh my god  _ guess _ what?!” A boy, about the same height as Chan and who I guess could only be Seungkwan, walks through the threshold. Jeonghan was right, he  _ is _ a character, and a little too loud, but definitely not as bad as that DK boy. “Vernon just- ” Seungkwan, who was previously too busy from looking at his cell to look up, is now staring straight at me with a surprised stare. “Who are you?” The Jeju boy asks once he’s standing in front of our makeshift circle we already have going on. I nervously place my lunch on the ground and bring my lower lip between my teeth out of habit.

Jeonghan looks towards me and gives me a calming smile before speaking.“Wonwoo, that’s Seungkwan, this is Chan, though you guys know each other already, and that’s Minghao.” He takes a bite of his bread and continues to talk with his mouth full and cheeks puffed. “Wonwoo just moved here, so he’s going to be eating lunch with us.”

Seungkwan nods his head understandingly while sitting down between Minghao and Chan. “Oh that’s cool, do you want a tangerine? I brought some for everyone to have today, but I always end up bringing  _ way  _ too many.” I hear multiple ‘yes!’ and ‘finally’. I give the younger a little shake of my head meaning ‘no’, not wanting to intrude with taking anything from him. He then gives me a slight pout before looking at my lunch I now have placed between my hands. “I insist. You have plenty of veggies in your lunch, but not enough fruit.” Seungkwan then proceeds to pass out the orange colored fruits to everyone and gently places one onto my lap. “Here you go.” He cheerfully says while leaning back into his spot. I look at the fresh tangerine and then back up towards the younger, giving him a timid smile.

This… This whole thing is just so new and refreshing. This is something I’ve been missing out on for  _ all my life _ . Being social and have- dare I say it- friends (unless you count all the times I’ve spent with my parents). I still have a long way to go before I can confidently call any of these younger three my friends, but how hard can it be when it only took Mingyu and I around a day.

“So, tell me about you and Wen Junhui.” Chan says with genuine curiosity while peeling his given fruit. Minghao looks up from his cell, mouth gaping like a fish as he makes a strained noise. The sight itself is particularly funny and causes Jeonghan to snort out a laugh.

Seungkwan's face looks quite hurt before bringing his hands up and waving them to stop everyone. “Wait, I was talking about something more important first!” He about whines out, but Jeonghan is still too busy laughing to pay attention and Minghao is basically sat frozen.

“Y-you can’t just bring it up like that…” The darker boy stutters out and I suddenly feel sorry for Minghao, but I have to remind myself this is all fun and games. No one is meaning anything harmful towards him.

“Sure I can!” Chan states aloud, with his eyebrows scrunched up, as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world.

●●

When the bell rings for us to go to our next period, I’ve already come to a very important conclusion. Jeonghan is safe.

I’m not sure about the other three or what my future holds with them, but I know for a fact that Jeonghan is safe. He feels like a parent. In fact, he actually reminds me of my late mother, but I guess that’s a whole other topic for a different time.

While Chan and Minghao are arguing about some comic and Seungkwan watching something on his phone, Jeonghan decides to tell me about his sibling. He tells me about how his younger brother has anxiety and how he helps the younger when he can. At first I’m confused as to why the older is telling me this, blind to the obvious hinting going on, but then he continues. Jeonghan lets me know that he noticed the way I picked under my nails and wrung my hands as I sat in class and while I was being introduced to the younger three earlier. He continues by saying that it’s just an observation though and that he could be wrong about the similarities between his brother and I. Although  _ I could _ have just played it could off as nerves, I told him that he was correct. There was no point in lying to him. He gave me a solemn nod of his head as the bell began to ring and that was the end of the conversation. No questions asked and no story wanting to be told. Simple as that and I appreciate it. 

I think I just made another friend and I’m also silently hoping that the other three can be added into my rapidly growing list sometime soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well it's been a minute since I last updated Wonwoo's pov uwu Sorry you guys have to always wait for the updates, I just really want to make them good, you know?
> 
> Get to know me by following me on Twitter @CadelynIsTrash if you feel like it!


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